


Hearts of Courage

by Justawriter68



Series: Pacific Rim Aus. [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Ghost Drifting, Idiots in Love, Jaeger Pilots, Jaegers (Pacific Rim), Kaiju (Pacific Rim), Kicking Kaiju Ass, M/M, OT12 (EXO)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 30,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27431170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justawriter68/pseuds/Justawriter68
Summary: The war clock ticked on, ever so inching closer and closer to the time where they would be sent out to fight the large beasts that came from the seas.Jongdae could only wonder what would get him first.The Kaiju?Or his own inability to confess his feelings to his co-pilot?
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Pacific Rim Aus. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160180
Comments: 20
Kudos: 50
Collections: EXO MONSTERFEST 2020





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~ I was super excited once I saw this prompt, because I loved Pacific Rim, and the whole giant robot kicks giant monster ass. Not to mention that the universe and the anticipation of getting to name the Jaegers in the fic as well as some of the Kaiju was too much to pass up. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> To the prompter of #O46 I hope the first part of this gets you and everyone else excited, thank you for adding the prompt to the archive. 
> 
> Also If you've never listened to the Pacific Rim over all theme, you should, its a good hype song that I used a lot to get me in the mood during writing. 
> 
> I'll link that here:
> 
>   
> [Main theme ](https://youtu.be/pnFdDqSDRDE)  
> 
> 
> Happy reading and I'll hopefully see you soon!

The smell of the metal bunker hung in the air, industrial by all meaning of the word, the colors around Jongdae a muddled mix of grey and orange from the over head lights, perhaps a sight that at first would bring much wonderment upon entering the large hanger, and even larger are the machines that they house. 

Jaegers. 

At this point in his life Jongdae could say that he could probably find his way around the hanger with his eyes closed. 

He wished that sometimes he could go back to being that bright-eyed recruit right out of the training school, seeing this place for the first time as he stepped out onto the floor. finally getting to put all of his time in the simulators to use, proud as all get out that he was capable and capable enough to pilot the large machines. 

It was a pride he still had, defending his country and the large number of people who couldn't defend themselves see him as a hero, look up to him like he was the idols that used to bring the most forefront country to their pride. 

At one point he had even wanted to be a singer. 

But that only seemed like a lifetime ago, a different him. 

_Perhaps in a different life..._

Now stepping across the stained floors, and looking up at the large clock, more often something that you would see in an old industrial factory about how long that had gone since the last incident. 

Well this one was their war clock, counting how long they had been fighting, and how long between Kaiju attacks, more recently they had been becoming more frequent and far in between. 

The giant monsters now coming out of them were only becoming more powerful and more difficult to kill, with their engineers rushing to figure out how they were going to make a new addition to their monster weapons. 

It takes a monster to take down a monster after all. 

but now, the initial excitement was replaced by a bitter wash of worry and anxiety running through him, wondering if it would be him or his partner next that could be killed. The echoes of the last pilots that had been ripped apart from each other ringing in his ears even two weeks after the fact. 

Jongdae had never heard anything else like it in his life, it sounded like they had part of their soul ripped from their body and that there was nothing that the man could do about it other than scream. 

"What are you looking at so intensely?" A weight being thrown around his shoulder and a light voice tickling by his ear. "Eager to go out and spill some Kaiju blood?" 

Jongdae just sighs, snapping out of his reverie, looking at Baekhyun beside him, his hair having recently been dyed a clean honey blond. "What about you, Baek? I see you went with the discount idol look." He snorts.

Baekhyun has the heart to look a little offended at the statement, putting a hand over where he heart would be in the light grey T-shirt. "Please, they wished that they looked this good." 

Jongdae only releases an amused huff, shaking his head, and although Baekhyun was lighthearted with his words he could see the small sense of anxiety as he too looked at the display of the war clock. 

More than likely still hearing the screams of the pilots of the Titan Hunger ripped apart from each other like he did. 

Baekhyun tears his gaze away from the clock, smiling at him. "Come on and let's get something to eat, we're welcoming those pilots from China today remember?" 

"Right..." Jongdae smiles. 

He could at least hope that this was something that could at least go well, although he was aware that the action had major political connotations, and one major screw up could wreck things although the world had technically come together since the first major Kaiju incident happened in California all of those years ago. Jongdae allows himself to be led to the dining area of the facility, listening to Baekhyun describe the Category.1 Kaiju that he and Chanyeol had been tasked to take down in the early hours of the morning. 

Just nodding along and smiling, when Baekhyun describes their kill with their signature weapon, a high energy whip that practically cuts through everything like butter. 

The mess hall wasn't anything special: a simple room, filled with identical metal chairs and tables, not aesthetically pleasing in any way, simply a place to eat. 

Though he couldn't say that it was in any way too shabby either. 

"Well look who decided to join us! Took you all long enough." Jongdae hears Chanyeol remark from his spot, an empty space beside him that no one else would dare assume was for anyone else than Baekhyun.

"Chan was telling us you had a drop this morning, how did that go?" Junmyeon questions, giving Jongdae a small smile as he passes him to get to his own seat that had been reserved. 

"How else could it go other than great?" Chanyeol remarks, waving his utensils in the air with one hand sending bits of rice onto Jongin sitting on the other side of him. 

The table is immediately graced with a retelling of their victory by Chanyeol, one that may or may not have been a little more embellished than the one that Baekhyun had just told him on the way there prior. 

Jongdae just smiles, shaking his head as he begins filling his plate with food while listening to the story.

"Are you okay, Dae?" 

Jongdae immediately turns to the voice of his co-pilot, meeting warm almond shaped eyes, perhaps a bit cat-like in nature as they regarded him questioningly. Minseok had a gaze that could pull the truth out of any soul, that he was sure of, or perhaps it was only his own. 

Either way, it made his stomach turn up in knots.

And not the anxious kind. 

"You weren't in the room this morning." Minseok states. 

Jongdae knew his co-pilot, and he knew that he wasn't getting out of this with a half assed answer. 

It would pretty much be like lying to himself. 

"I just needed to take a walk... lost track of time." Jongdae answers, finally meeting his eyes. "I realized when Baek came and got me." 

Minseok stares back, although any hint of a lie probably would have been detected immediately, they had been in each other's minds almost on a daily basis for years at this point.

After a while the older between the two doesn't ask anymore questions, and simply reaches over to put something else on Jongdae's plate. 

Jongdae holds back a little sigh as he continues eating his breakfast. 

"Did you check out the specs of these pilots we’re greeting?" Sehun mentions. “The pilots of the Catamount Fury have been guarding the harbor of Hong Kong un-breached for six years… that's insane.” 

“Don’t they have three pilots too… all unrelated?” Kyungsoo remarks, wide eyes glaring a little bit in an attempt to see better as he neither had his contacts in and had forgotten to grab his glasses before coming to the hall to eat. 

Junmyeon nods, taking a bite of his own food. “Yes, the first and only of its kind at the moment.” He hands Sehun a napkin without looking. “You wouldn’t think it works but it does…” 

The rest of the conversation falls into talking about more specs and what other assignments that they had this week while not being able to accurately know what was going to happen later in the week. 

As of recently the patterns are getting more and more spontaneous. 

Jongdae hoped that it wouldn't be a reoccurring trend. 

Later on, they're all in the loading garage, all of the Jaegers being attended to by their techs for modifications and other repairs that needed to necessarily be made. 

Jongdae's eyes drift around the familiar noisy area, full of people walking, and the towering machines resting above them, behind him at the moment Cobalt Paragon, he and Minseok's jaeger, almost The exact shade of blue that the large machine had gotten its moniker from, although the battles had gotten rid of the richness of their jaeger's trademark hue. 

Next to him he feels a slight nudge on his shoulder, now registering that the doors of the hangar bay opening with the sounds of various alarms alerting all of those who were standing in the bay of the action. 

Jongdae briefly turns his attention to Minseok before looking in direction he was looking along with the others, watching as the Catamount Fury is wheeled into the room, the worn red and black paint showing the many scars and victories of battle, this model was just the same as the Cobalt Paragon, a Mark-3. 

"Isn't she a thing of beauty?" 

Jongdae turns to the new voice, finding Yixing standing there. The man himself was also a Chinese native, but he worked in their command center making sure that the technology that they used to drift together worked smoothly and that any incoming Kaiju could be reported to them through their center. He also studied Kaiju biology on the side and had given names to most of the Kaijus that they had faced. 

"One of the last Mark-threes made..." the Chinese man turned to smile at them. "Save the Paragon of course." 

Jongdae turns his attention back towards the pilots entering, each of varying heights and appearances, despite this they all walked in sync as if they were the same person. 

Jongdae couldn't even find a hitch in which way their arms swung as they walked. 

"Gentlemen, welcome to South Korea." General lee steps forward reaching out to shake their hands. 

The tallest of the three reaches out first, a small smile cracking the otherwise hard expression that had covered his face just a moment before. "Thank you for having us. It's a pleasure to be here." 

The general does the same to the other two, greeting them before turning back over to their group. 

"Gentlemen, I would like you to meet the pilots of the Catamount Fury, Wu Yifan, Luhan, and Huang Z.Tao." 

The group of them greet the three pilots, before the general turns to them. 

"I'd like to introduce you to the pilots we have here. The Pilots of the Solar Wyvern: Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun, The Echo Typhoon: Kim Junmyeon and Oh Sehun: The Onyx Ace: Do Kyungsoo and Kim Jongin, and lastly The Cobalt Paragon: Kim Minseok and Kim Jongdae." 

Jongdae feels the way that their shift to them upon saying that, it was more attentive than the polite eyes the trio had been giving beforehand. 

"You killed that Cat.three a month ago." Yifan states. "The Emberback." 

Jongdae blinks for a moment, realizing that he was talking about them, he could feel Minseok look at him the same way before his gaze leaves him and turns to Yifan as well. 

"Yes we did." Minseok replies with a slight smile. 

"It was an impressive kill... we saw the footage." Luhan gives them both a slight smile as well. "You two fight well." 

Jongdae smiles, feeling the warmth of pride swell in his chest, replacing the cold anxiety. "Thank you." 

"If you have some time I would like to learn that maneuver." Tao bounces a little on his feet, the blonde of his hair looking more white under the industrial lights. 

Yifan turns back to look at his other co-pilot. " _Tao_..." 

The other man just looks at him. "What? We're here to learn aren't we? Besides, we're going to be working with them, ge." Tao crosses his arms as if challenging the other man to argue with what he said.

Yifan merely sighs, eyes locking with Luhan who just merely gives him a smile, before he turns back to the group. "We'd be honored to learn from the pilots of the Paragon." 

"We would be more than happy to show you sometime." Minseok smiles.

Jongdae sees the general smile, seemingly happy that they all seem to be getting along. 

Suddenly the room shifts from the light atmosphere to suddenly blaring with alarms although this time, not signaling the arrival of another Jaeger. But rather the announcement of a Kaiju, the voice over the intercom signaling that there was a Category two arriving from the breach. 

“Paragon, you’re up.” The commander tells them. 

“Sir.” Minseok replies, looking at Jongdae. 

Jongdae meets his eyes, his stomach dropping a little with once was excitement, was now that icy cold dread he had been thinking about all morning. But he also knew that there was no one else that he would rather face this with. 

Jongdae nods in the affirmative, and then he looks at the newest additions to the base, trying to keep it light-hearted, despite other thoughts beginning to run rampant. “Looks like we’ll have to save that lesson until we get back.” 

Tao smiles. “We’ll be watching then.” 

The pair head off to the loading bay to get into the suits that would allow them to pilot the large robot towering near them. Jongdae felt the familiar weight of the suits clicking and gearing into completion as it formed around his body. There’s a feeling of familiarity as they settle into their places Minseok on the right and Jongdae on the left. 

The gears and everything locking them into place before as the techs and everything wish them luck. 

Jongdae releases a breath as he feels the familiar descent down so that they could connect to the rest of the Jaeger’s body, the slight jolt as they connected, the rest of their systems lighting up in a various array of lights. 

Below them the sound of the reactor that gave the large robot its power wiring to life. 

“Ready?” Minseok’s voice fills in through the comms in his helmet. 

Jongdae looks over to meet the familiar feline shaped eyes, through the protective shield of glass that made the front of their helmets. 

“Always.” he smiles. 

_“Beginning drift sequence in: 3, 2…”_

Jongdae closes his eyes preparing for that feeling of falling that always accompanied the drift, though just like the first time he and Minseok had drifted, instead of being swept away like the other various times, he was carried through Minseok’s memories as their minds began to meld together, and by the time it was over he could feel that it was a success, their movements smooth and without hesitance. 

_“Neural Handshake at one-hundred percent and holding steady… good luck out there, Paragon. We’re going to air lift you to the location.”_

Getting airlifted into the location where a battle awaited them would never make Jongdae any less nervous, there was always something nagging at the back of his mind about being dropped in, instead of walking through the water; some irrational fear that the Jaeger would somehow crumple upon their impact with the ground although he knew that it was more likely a Kaiju would tear them apart first. 

Still he’s thankful when they touch the water with the comforting padding of the hydraulics of their two ton mass of machinery as they fully stand upright. 

_"We've input the location of the Kaiju into your radar. You're not too far out, Paragon."_

"Roger that." Minseok says as they begin walking farther towards their target, the weight of the water makes the move a little slower than was already the case with the large machinery. 

Jongdae could already feel the knots of his nerves giving away to the adrenaline of an upcoming battle. 

After a few moments it's clear what their target was, the large beast coming towards them with a glowing maw in the setting twilight. orange an ugly as it roars when it sees them. 

"Damn they never get any prettier do they." Minseok remarks. 

"You think if they were less ugly that would make them any kinder?” Jongdae replies as they begin charging towards the beast, colliding with a shake which felt almost earth shattering as they wrestled with it. 

"He's a bit bigger than we thought." Jongdae grunts out, looking at the beast that was now trying to snap at them with its mouth as it wriggled in place, upon closer inspection Jongdae could now see the finer details of the beast, large points coming out of the back of the beast and heading all the way down its back, but it's too late by the time that he sees what's coming towards them, just narrowly able to miss the large scythe it has for a tail knocking them down into the water none to gracefully. 

Jongdae immediately brings out the sword on his arm, blocking the other blow that was coming for them just barely, feeling the pressure of its tail pressing against them, finally with a yell they're able to push the beast back into the water, Minseok grabbing on to its tail with his other hand holding it in place as they take their stand once again in the water finding their footing, the creature squirming as its being held in place by the pair. 

"Dae, cut its tail off!" 

Jongdae nods, lifting his hand to do just that when the proximity warning goes off, and something barrels into them from the side, sending them crashing into the water once again with a sharp grunt. 

_"Paragon, be advised there is another Kaiju in the area, Category one."_

"Yeah, you're a little late on that one." Jongdae remarks as the pair push themselves up with a grunt. 

They're now staring down the two beasts, the one that had knocked them over stalking over with the intent to probably rip them from their pod, but in the next moment the first Kaiju roars, bringing the smaller one attention back to their primary target, the shore, and the two of them were close enough that it would take no time at all for them to make it with the people unsuspectingly unable to get to safety in enough time. 

Or at least with enough time that would be valuable enough to save enough lives. 

"Min, you alright?" Jongdae asks, he himself a little rattled from being thrown. 

"Yeah." The other man grunts as they push themselves up again, the hit having taken them quite a bit of time after the hit. 

"Shit." Minseok curses. "I've taken weapons damage on this side... energy blade is out." 

The pair begin running again. "The missiles?" Jongdae questions, already bringing up the screen to use them. 

Minseok nods. 

Jongdae hits the button to launch them out towards the pair of Kaiju approaching the glittering shore, The missiles do their job and bring the attention back to the pair with a roar and a glare that the two beasts could manage, the smaller category one being the one that was lumbering towards them quickly planning to obviously go for the bite. But the Paragon intercepts him grabbing the beast and slamming it into the water, but more unexpectedly they see a glowing start to come from the water, a blast of energy coming from the water and blinding them temporarily as they stumble back. 

"Shit, we're blind!" Jongdae curses. 

_"Right beside you, Paragon! On your three!"_

Jongdae immediately follows the command, taking the sword out and slashing out in that direction, satisfied when he hears a roar, plunging the weapon deeper as they take the Jaeger down in that direction, although it had temporarily blinded them it seemed that it wasn't enough to blast a hole through into their pod. 

Minseok grabs the smaller one with his other hand, squeezing seeing the beast beginning to use whatever ability it had again, cutting it off again with a solid choke. And without pomp and circumstance Jongdae with a yell takes the moment to mortally wound the beast, blue fluorescent blood spilling out into the water below them as they begin to retract and head after their original target. 

"Shit, that bought that bastard some time." Minseok swears, as they charge through the water, the winding of their running echoing through the machine. "Command this might be taken into the city." 

_"We're aware, evacuation started a couple of minutes ago."_

This makes Jongdae only want to push himself harder, no kid should have to go through that, watching their home being destroyed by a large beast. "Let's hurry." 

Somehow it feels that they've gotten closer, now the glittering city now more obviously in sight, and the monster heading straight towards it with an almost victorious sounding roar, on their way in the pair pick up a boat with their hands and once they're in striking distance they slam the large object into the side of the beasts head, causing it to tumble back into the water, popping up almost instantaneously with an aggravated hiss as it once again charged at them in a spiraling motion, the sharp scythe like end of its tail coming towards them, but they duck, grabbing it and chucking it away from them with an a grunt. 

It was at least a little bit farther than it had been just a few moments ago, with little hesitance they begin their charge again through the water to the creature. 

“Our move?” Minseok turns his head to look at him. 

Jongdae smiles, nodding, more than ready to finish this off. “Let's finish this.” 

By now the sun had set, and now their way was being lit, or rather the Kaiju was being lit by the strobe light of a couple of helicopters circling above them. One of which was more than likely a news site, if not more than a couple being that.

They tackle the monster again into the water, wrestling around with it until they can get a firm grasp on the creatures tail as well as the rest of its body, the water against the skin of the Kaiju making it that much more difficult for them to get a solid standing, but the pair fixes that by punching the creature into shock, sending more radioactive blood glowing into the water below, allowing them to get the advantage they need stepping on the scythe like tail with one foot and the other hand charging up the plasma cannon. 

Their left hand begins to wind up with the energy, the weapon transforming the fist into the cannon, finally loading up with the charge before its shoved down the roaring creatures throat, and they discharge it, blowing the creatures head wide open with the blast, blood and chunks of the Kaiju being spread all over into the ocean below them. They drop the rest of the body, sinking beneath the waves with a finality.

Minseok and Jongdae look at each other and smile, the adrenaline weaving down into pride.

And looking into his Co-pilots eyes he’s reminded again for a moment that this is exactly part of the reason they do what they do, and for the moment he knows that this is exactly where he’s supposed to be. 

And re-affirms the fact that he didn’t know what he would do if the other wasn’t at his side. 

***

“You two are absolutely wild, _‘The Cobalt Paragon does it again, wonder pilots extraordinaire’_.” 

Jongdae shakes his head at Baekhyun as he continues his stretches sitting on a mat in the sparring area, the other man scrolling through his phone as he rests on the bench beside the punching bag he and Chanyeol had been taking turns punching.

“Oh, please… everyone saw you take down those Kaiju, and the pose at the end…” Chanyeol mimics the signature pose that had become commonplace with the Cobalt Paragon, his muscles slightly flexing with the motion. “You’re both rockstars, Dae… none of us are the ones with an interview.” 

Jongdae just sighs again finishing his stretching, Minseok just behind him pressing on his lower back, and he could hear his co-pilot let out a slight chuckle under his breath. 

“You’ve all done them before as well… We did our jobs.” Minseok replies, helping Jongdae stay down just a little more in his deeper stretch. 

“Yeah, but more than once… you’re practically the darlings of South Korea.” Baekhyun replies. 

“Like a celebrity couple everyone is rooting for.” Chanyeol adds with a teasing smile. 

Jongdae merely glowers, releasing a breath as sinks into the stretch a little bit more. “Min… I’m at my limit.” he reaches around to try and tap his arm, bushing against skin lightly with his fingers. 

Without question he feels the hands lift off of his back, allowing some of the strain to be released from his muscles as he now sits in a more comfortable position on the mat below him, Minseok giving him an apologetic look as he rubs Jongdae's back gently. 

"Darlings?" Minseok lets out a snort. "Now you're just saying things... get back to work, Byun." 

Baekhyun only smiles in response. "Actually Chan and I are done here, we have a meeting about some changes they want to make to the Wyvern." He stands up from the bench he was occupying with a soft grunt stretching, while Chanyeol was undoing the bandages from around his hands. 

"You two have fun." Baekhyun departs them with one last wink, while Chanyeol waves at them taking a sip from his water bottle on the way out the door.

Leaving Jongdae and Minseok in relative silence, save the soft blowing of the air conditioner coming into the room. 

Jongdae smiles shaking his head still, he loved the two of them but sometimes the things they would say could be a little ridiculous, he stands shaking lose the rest of his muscles. Sort of ready for whatever Minseok was about to put them through. 

"So what are we working with? I know you were unpleased with our performance out there." Jongdae notes, resting his hands on his hips, the tank top and sweatpants he'd chosen for the workout showed signs of having been through this trial before. 

"Of course you know." 

"How could I not, our brains are connected, remember? Plus, why else would you have me up this early if not for that." Jongdae remarks. 

Minseok nods thoughtfully, bringing with him a screen on the display was the video of them from the news, the fighting looking every bit as intense as it had been fighting inside of the Jaeger. 

"Do you think we could've finished the fight earlier?" Jongdae turns his attention to his co-pilot. 

Minseok nods. “We’re good, but we’ve been slipping.” He walks over to a table in the room, and sets the tablet down. 

Jongdae looks at the back of the other man for a moment. “Do you ever think about what you would be doing if you weren’t here? Like if you never decided to enter the pilot program as a cadet?” 

Minseok turns to face him then, taking off the crewneck sweatshirt that he had been wearing during their warm up, brown eyes questioning. “Not really…” 

Jongdae thinks that for a moment it makes sense, as Minseok’s family seemed like they had practically been born to be in Jaegers even before the world completely gone to shit, the majority of his family having served in the military, so when Jaeger's came along how could they have not jumped at the first opportunity to serve. 

It ran in his blood. 

"Right, I forgot, all of your family is superhuman." Jongdae chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Minseok leans against the table, crossing his arms. "Why, not thinking of leaving me are you?" He raised an eyebrow, the tone was teasing enough, but there was something else in his eyes that Jongdae couldn't quite decipher.

Jongdae's eyes go a little wide and then he laughs. "No, of course not. And leave you to get your ass kicked, and with some poor other bastard who you would probably end up kicking out yourself because they don't keep up to your living standards." He smiles. "Why would I want to give that up, besides your mom makes the best cakes." 

Minseok smiles more then. "Ah, I see, using me to get cake." He pushes himself from the table and approaches Jongdae. "Clever... But is that what's been on your mind, Dae?" His expression turned a bit more serious at that. 

Jongdae has to fight down the flush that wants to rear its head, if only he knew the half of it. "Yeah... just... I guess for the first time since joining as a cadet, I'm actually beginning to think about the future. Looking at the war clock. This isn't getting any better, in fact the whole situation seems to be getting worse with every event of them coming through... and after what happened to the Titan Hunger..." He shivers. "I can't help but think what if that's me next." 

_What if that's_ **_us_ ** _._ His mind provides.

Minseok is again thoughtful as he regards his co-pilot, before Minseok places a comforting hand on Jongdae's shoulder. "Nothing like that is going to happen to either of us. I swear it." The look in Minseok's eyes is so serious that Jongdae is inclined to believe it right away. "So don't think like that... as for the future, we can't worry about things that happened to us yet... that will drive you crazy. And I can't pilot the Paragon if my Pilot isn't well, you can't quit on me yet."

Jongdae smiles then. "Never... we'll quit together. I'll be there with you as your father kicks both of our asses." 

Minseok smiles, lightening the mood again. "Now come on, we've got sparring to do and an interview to prepare for, superstar." 

Jongdae groans at the use of the nickname, but nonetheless he's soon sucked into the rhythm of their fighting as effortlessly as it had been the first time when they were first doing physical compatibility training as cadets. 

There's a sense of home there, though just like the first time, Jongdae ultimately finds himself on the mats again, a sheen of sweat covering his body as Minseok hovers above him. 

"Come on, Dae are you really even trying?" Minseok’s smile says that he’s teasing him, the one that Minseok gets when he purposefully wants to egg him on. 

Jongdae releases a huff of air, wrapping his legs around Minseok's midsection and wrestling him down onto the mat with grace, his hands pinned behind his back as Minseok's face is pretty much pressed into the surface below him. "3-2.... How's that for effort?" Jongdae croons into his ear. 

Minseok slightly rolls his eyes as Jongdae releases him from the hold and they reset. "You're faster than you were out there... and you could've beat me two moves earlier." 

Jongdae nods. 

As they move into their next sequence of sparing, he could tell that Minseok was going harder than him on purpose, Jongdae was good at evading and although he did workout with the other man it was nothing in comparison to the sheer strength that Minseok had and soon that was proven as Jongdae is taken to yield point once again, Minseok looking at him victoriously. "3-3... the next will be our last." 

Jongdae nods, taking the hand that Minseok offered to him, as they both take a quick sip of water before continuing with their activity. Something was simultaneously hard and easy at the same time, the privilege of knowing Minseok like the back of his hand was that he could predict moves easier but in turn it allotted Minseok the same thing, evening out the playing field, but at the same time offering up a challenge as how to do actions that the other hadn't already predicted or been expecting. 

And maybe that's why they circled each other for a long time, Minseok eventually giving in and striking first, causing Jongdae to smile a little with all of the patience and grace that Minseok had, the other man could be quite impulsive when it came to something that he could see as being done by himself or getting over it quickly. The adrenaline of battle only added to the shortness of his fuse in that regard, one of the few faults that Minseok had as a person and soldier. 

He didn't know how many times he had to talk down fights during their academy days, between another rather hotheaded recruit that had somehow managed to push all the wrong buttons. 

Jongdae thinks it complimented his shortcoming of taking too long to think and analyze a situation before doing anything about it, or being not sure about it, Minseok helped in that regard and was quick to take action or not, Jongdae prided himself on having adopting some of that nature as well as passing some of his onto Minseok during their tenure together. 

As of now, he was trying to figure out how to avoid ending up on the ground with the other man, because once that happened as tired as he was getting he knew that it would be a certified win for Minseok. 

Jongdae slips past another gasp, getting under Minseok's arm and eventually behind him into a chokehold of sorts, but what he hadn't been expecting was the other man's preparedness for the choke hold, and suddenly Jongdae found his back against the mats with a soft wheeze of air leaving his lungs as he tried to struggle to get up right. But it was clear that Minseok wasn't going to let that happen the other man had him exactly where he wanted him, for a brief moment during their tussling Jongdae sees hope as he ends up on top, but that moment disappears when at misplacement of his arm has him tumbling to the ground again, Minseok victoriously pinning Jongdae's legs and his arms above him. 

Jongdae can't even find the strength to struggle. 

"4-3." Minseok smiles, taking in breaths, his chest heaving up and down. 

And Jongdae lets out a breathless chuckle letting his head fall back as he feels sweat roll down his temple despite the air conditioned room, his tank top sticking to his back as he just lies there, but he still manages to give a weak playful glare. "I yield..." 

"You almost had me there for a moment." 

“I know… and then my stupid arm gave out.” Jongdae slightly pouts. 

Minseok laughs then, fully at the expression his co-pilot was making. 

“I’m glad my loss brings you great joy, Min.” 

Minseok laughs again, the vibrations traveling through his whole body, and it was at this moment that Jongdae realizes how close they are at the moment and the way their bodies were sort of pressed together. He was grateful for the way his face was probably already flushed from their exercise, the feeling only increased as he realized Minseok was looking down at him too. 

Jongdae was trying not to follow the bead of sweat that was making its way down Minseok’s chest down into the shirt where he knew that there was a very well maintained body down underneath the piece of fabric. 

And for a moment all Jongdae can hear is their breaths between them, and perhaps he’s imagining it in his hopeful brain but he thinks that Minseok is beginning to move downwards when the door to the area is opening, breaking the little bubble as two other people walk in, greeting them. 

Jongdae smiles at them as best as he can, and then he realizes that Minseok still hasn’t moved from over him. “Min…” He clears his throat, looking back up at the other man. 

Minseok blinks and then looks down then , and quickly moves as if realizing their situation for the first time. Sitting back on the mat not too far away, Jongdae sits up running a hand through his sweat damped hair, removing some of the strands that had stuck to his skin as a result, catching his breath and stretching out some of the tense muscles in his neck. 

Soon he has a water bottle tossed to him from the side, catching it with a thanks, drawing water from the bottle silently, in fact the rest of their time in the space is spent silently drinking water, cooling down, cleaning up the mats and then heading back to their room to take a well deserved shower and get a change a clothes before getting something to eat. 

After coming back from his shower, Jongdae can tell that he's going to be a little sore after this session, it had been a while since the pair of them had such an intense sparring session, with the increasing Kaiju attacks there had been little time between sleeping and switching shifts as they tried to get used to this new sort of schedule that the large beasts had decided to put them on. 

It was one of the reasons that the Catamount Fury had been brought over from China as their Jaeger program was far more vast with a number of pilots than South Korea's were currently. As it turned out, most didn't want to pilot a Jaeger and even less had the compatibility to do so. 

Jongdae sighs, looking through his drawer for a hoodie or something to put on as his hair was still drying from his shower, the small towel still resting over his head to keep most of the water from dripping on his clothes, he sets back with a sigh. 

"What's wrong?" Minseok questions, pulling on a long sleeve shirt of his own, covering the well earned physique. 

"All of my hoodies are in the dirty clothes bin... that's all." Jongdae replies, continuing to dry his hair off with a towel, before he's satisfied placing it around his shoulders, looking down at his phone going through the various social media, news of other Kaiju attacks in other countries close to the pacific showing up, and fans of the Jaegers saying how awesome the pilots were. 

"Here." 

Jongdae barely has time to look up at the vocal cue before a piece of clothing is thrown at him, just barely being able to catch it with one hand without sending his phone crashing to the floor. He unfolds the clothing realizing that it's one of Minseok's crewnecks, the scent of his favorite fabric softener and more importantly his cologne wafting up to his nose. 

"Why are you looking at it like that?" Minseok looks at him kind of amused, running a hand through his black hair, momentarily pushing his hair back from his forehead revealing more skin just as clear as the rest of his face. "You're cold right?" 

Jongdae nods. "Thanks." 

Why was he being weird about it, they had shared clothes before, although that was more so the occasional T-shirt or something that was newly cleaned, something about this felt more personal with the fact that Jongdae could tell that he had been worn recently, pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind he pulls the sweatshirt over his head adjusting it properly, thankful that Minseok wasn't too much broader than he was. 

"Come on let's get something to eat... my stomach is trying to digest itself I think." Minseok rubs his stomach grabbing his things and then heading towards the door. 

Getting to the dining area, sitting at their usual table were Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Jongin. 

"Where's everyone else?" Minseok questions as they take a seat.

Jongdae looks around as well. 

"I think that Yifan, Tao, and Luhan had a meeting or something." Kyungsoo answers. "As for Myeon-hyung and Sehunnie, I have no idea." He shrugs. 

Jongdae shoves some rice into his mouth, looking up he can see Baekhyun staring at him. "What, my face that beautiful, Byun?" 

Baekhyun smiles. "You wish..." He takes his spoon and points between Minseok and Jongdae. "What about you two, did you have *fun* with your sparring session?"

Kyungsoo slightly rolls his eyes at the other man's antics although Chanyeol beside him was looking on with curious large eyes. 

"I heard Choi and his co-pilot walked in on you two on top of each other." He snickers. 

That causes Jongdae's cheeks to heat up slightly at that. "We were wrestling." He supplies, stabbing his food with a utensil. 

"For longer than necessary?" Baekhyun's eyes narrow on Jongdae's clothing. "That's hyung's sweatshirt!" He gasps. "Something did happen didn't it?" 

"Baek!" He glares. "No nothing happened!" He answers despite the fact that he briefly has a flashback to whatever little world they had been in near the end of their session there. "All of my hoodies needed to be washed and Min lended me one, that's all." 

Jongin's eyes flicker between them, although his mouth remains occupied by the piece of chicken that was on his tray. 

Baekhyun seems thoroughly unconvinced with the way he's smiling at them like he had just seen something fall into place that he had been planning all along. "Hmhm... you know they say, 'the closer the bond the better you fight'. " 

"Byun..." Kyungsoo looks at the pilot of the Wyvern then. "If they say nothing happened then nothing happened... Now before you decided to get off topic, did your Jaeger get the upgrades or not?"

From there Chanyeol immediately takes over the conversation, eyes lighting up, and Jongdae finds himself immensely grateful for Kyungsoo's tact at a time like this, He loved his best friend, but the other would tease him to death if he let him although he meant well. though he could tell that he wasn't off of the hook because the conversation had shifted back to their original topic before they had arrived. 

And for the moment Jongdae was happy for the distraction that was allowed away from the butterflies in his stomach whenever he thought about the sweatshirt and a little earlier this morning. 

***

As it turns out getting ready for an interview was a more arduous task than Jongdae had originally thought, during the week before hand, he had almost completely forgotten about the press obligation. As most of the obligations he had before were he and Min getting in the Jaeger along with the others while they just stood in the background making for some fairly awesome picture opportunities. 

He wouldn't lie and say it got pretty boring.

Although he and Minseok had been in other interviews before, they had been done on base, via the internet, but this time they were actually going to have to sit in front of a camera and a live audience. 

"Jeez... is this what idols have to go through?" Jongdae questions looking at himself in the mirror after the makeup lady had gotten done putting whatever make up until she was satisfied. 

Although it wasn't that much, it did make a little bit of a difference in his skin, his skin tone was a little bit more even looking in the vanity lights, they hadn't done much in the way of make up, just enough so he would present well on camera. 

“It's not that that bad… all we had to do is sit there.” Minseok replies, touching up his slicked back hair, with his hands. The gelled strands glimmering under the artificial lights of the vanity. 

"I guess you're right... besides it looks nice." Jongdae briefly appraises himself in the mirror before standing from the chair, brushing off the imaginary dust from his uniform, Minseok beside him in the same likeness. 

The navy blue of their coat contrasting with the white collared undershirt, and black pants with their dress shoes. 

The standard for any ranking general or commander in the Pan Pacific Protection Corps. 

Although there's were decorated anywhere in the slightest, that time would hopefully come with retirement, but he guesses that they were lucky enough to be able to wear them for an event such as this, Jongdae straightens his tie a little out of nervousness as one of the production staff came by and told them that it was almost time for them to stand by at the entrance to where their interview would be held. 

"How do I look? I didn't get to check before they moved us." Minseok says from beside him. 

And then Jongdae turns to look at him directly, something he had been avoiding doing since they both first put the uniforms on before coming here, to say that the other looked anything less than great was a lie. 

I guess it's true what they say about a man in uniform. 

He turns, noticing that Minseok's tie was a little bit out of place. "Your tie, Min... I'll get it." Jongdae reaches over to straighten the tie, Minseok instantly lifts his chin a little so the other man could fix it. 

Although Jongdae could feel Minseok's eyes on him as he did so. 

"There, picture perfect." Jongdae remarks, also brushing some imaginary dust off of Minseok's shoulders out of nervousness, and smoothing down the lapels of the jacket before placing his hands down. 

Minseok smiles at him. "Thanks." 

"What about me?" Jongdae smiles a little bit. "Picture perfect?"

Minseok silently moves his hand, putting back a strand of hair that had fallen out of place more than likely from Jongdae running a hand over it despite his best attempts to be conscious of the movement. "Perfect." he states as he gives Jongdae one last scan over.

Jongdae nods in thanks, mouth becoming a little dry, instead he tries to focus his attention on the interviewers getting ready to announce them, he could hear them talking about the Paragon's stats, and images of both of them in their standard gear show up. 

"It gives us much pleasure to welcome the pilots of the Cobalt Paragon, Kim Minseok and Kim Jongdae."

They're given their cue then to step out into the bright lights, Jongdae at the moment is only focused on greeting the two in front of him with proper decorum, despite the applause of the crowd which he does take a moment to acknowledge as well as the pair of them take a seat on the small couch, the warmth of Minseok pressed slightly against him gives him some type of comfort through his nerves. 

"Good evening gentlemen, and thank you for your service." 

Jongdae nods. 

"Thank you for having us." Minseok replies.

"My, now they told us that Minseok was going to be charming, but not that charming. Are you sure that you aren't secretly an idol?" 

Minseok chuckles at that. "I can promise you that I've had no training of that sort, Jongdae on the other hand might more so fit that mold?" 

The second interviewer leans forward a little interested. "Oh? Is Jongdae a bit of a songbird?" 

Minseok nods. "Hmhm, during our cadet days you could always hear him singing at some point. We all thought a professional had come at some point to the base." 

Jongdae looks at him. "My co-pilot exaggerates a lot, he's always the one for a good story if it's interesting." He smiles a bit. "Though I will admit, I'm not _too_ bad of a singer." 

From then on the rest of the interview goes by quicker as he feels himself relaxing a bit more as the interviewers ask few questions about themselves, and then about their fights, what it's like first hand to defeat a Kaiju inside of the Jaeger and all of that, is it really as hard as it looks, what does the compatibility training look like? 

"You know I hear that a majority of the people who start their training with the Pan Pacific Corps, most fall out because they find they aren't drift compatible Is that true?" 

Both Jongdae and Minseok nod. 

"That's certainly true, if they aren't dropping out from basic training or if they don't get kicked out, which rarely happens. Then they leave due to drift incompatibility." Minseok supplies. 

Jongdae nods to his words. 

"I'm guessing that's how the pair of you met, right? Or rather became co-pilots together?" 

"Yes, that's correct... I remember thinking that I was going to be let go, because at the time I was not that compatible with anyone, not to the level that was needed to pilot a Jaeger at least." Jongdae laughs. "And then they were testing for Minseok-hyung... and I was like: You know, there's no way this is going to work, he's going to dust me without a thought." 

"Minseok comes from a military family right?" 

Minseok nods with a proud smile. "I'm a second generation Jaeger pilot, and fifth generation military."

The interviewers nod with smiles. "So were you thinking about giving up then and there, Jongdae?" 

"I was... but I knew that it was better to get it over with sooner rather than later, although I had faith in my skills, Hyung just from a physical and tactical standpoint had a little bit more of an advantage than me. So I shocked myself when I was the winner of the first round of our compatibility test." 

"And as they say, the rest is history." Minseok smiles. 

"But who won? by the time they called your match?" 

"Oh, I did of course." Minseok replies, an easy smile on his face. 

Jongdae shakes his head, ' _I did_.' He mouths to the crowd, but he smiles nonetheless. 

“Since Minseok’s family is military, how did you become interested in the program, Jongdae?” the first host asks, his partner looking at Jongdae as well. 

He could immediately feel himself tense up a little at the question, and his tongue become a little heavy with the thought of the memory beginning to resurface, but the sudden warmth of Minseok’s leg pressing against his brings him back to the present, the older man’s arm slinging itself across the back of the seat that they were sharing without a second thought. Minseok’s fingertips just brushing his shoulders in a comforting way. 

“When I was ten, a Kaiju attacked our city… and I was hopeless to do nothing but watch as my home was destroyed and I swore then that no one else would have to feel like that again if I could help it.” 

The small little squeeze Minseok gives him immediately tells him that he had done a great job with answering about the subject. 

The hosts’ faces are a little serious as they take in his words, the second of the pair looking at him with a kind smile again. “A story I’m sure many can relate to…” 

He’s thankful they don’t press anymore about the subject and seemingly move on to their next question or topic. 

"That being said, I hear that drifting makes the pilots quite close, how close is that?" The first host straightens their papers. 

“Well that depends how close you consider, inside of each other's brains, or rather having our minds meld together basically?” Minseok answers with a slight laugh. “It definitely brings you closer together if you weren’t that close before… I think you gain quite the understanding of a person better.” 

“I see,” the first interviewer flips her paper over. “So do you find yourselves having picked up a certain behavior or habit of the other?” 

The pair think for a moment. 

“I have, Jongdae has this habit and I don’t think he realizes it, but he does this thing where if he’s thinking about something that has been plaguing him really hard he’ll rub his knuckles with one finger. It's something really small, but I noticed that I started doing it too.” Minseok explains, showing the motion with his hands rubbing his knuckles with his thumb. 

Jongdae blinks. “Do I?” He laughs. “I really did never realize… I think Doctor Zhang told us something about that before, it's called ‘ _Ghost Drifting_ ’.” 

“Ghost Drifting… interesting, could you tell us more?” The second host of the show looks between them. 

“The most basic way to explain it is, we still feel connected as if we’re drifting in the Jaeger long after we’ve disconnected from the actual neural bridge.” Minseok explains.

“I see… so does that lend to any side effects, from sharing a mind. Especially for that long amount of time? And does it get stronger the longer you’re together piloting?” 

“Yes… and yes.” Jongdae answers. “Though the bond isn’t as strong as it would be while we’re actively piloting. I’ve actually found myself knowing what Minseok-hyung was thinking before he even said it.” Jongdae answers this time. “Which is a good thing because he can be the tiniest bit impulsive at times. I have to keep him out of trouble.” he smiles at the end as Minseok gives him a fake look of betrayal. 

“Please, you love that I’m a man of action…” Minseok deftly replies. 

Their entire conversation continues along with same path for a while, and before they know it the interview is over Minseok pressing his leg into Jongdae's to jolt him sort of back into attention about what was going on, and quicker than he can possibly blink they're backstage after the hosts stay behind to once again thank them for coming and the pair of them sign some autographs and take pictures with a couple of kids. 

"Well, I think that piloting a Jaeger is easier than that..." Jongdae comments going on to loosen his tie a little bit taking a sip of the water that they offered him upon returning backstage. 

"It was fun, the others are going to be teasing us for weeks though." Minseok remarks. 

Jongdae laughs. "But it'll have been well worth it... things like this remind me of what we do. Those kids... they looked so excited to see us." 

Minseok smiles as well. 

"But now time to go back behind metal walls." 

"You're telling me you don't absolutely love the gunmetal grey at every turn?" Minseok bumps shoulders with him. "How much better could it get than that?"

Jongdae only smiles. "How much longer until transport arrives?" 

"They should be here by now." Minseok's brow furrows. "I can give the base a call to see what the wait is." 

"Sounds good, and ask--" 

Jongdae's speech is interrupted by a loud rumbling and crash that nearly topples them over as the lights flicker on and off, screams being heard from all over, the space and Jongdae for a moment clinging on to Minseok so he doesn't just topple over on the floor, for the moment his water bottle forgotten. The pair look at each other with slightly wide eyes as the lights begin to turn back on, and soon they get the answer they're looking for in the form of sirens blaring throughout the space. 

_"Kaiju attack imminent, please evacuate to the nearest underground shelter."_

Minseok and Jongdae fully straighten then, now concerned, their eyes following as other people begin to file out of the building in front of them.

Minseok is the first of the pair to shake it off and curse under his breath. "Come on." 

The pair worked their way through the exit making sure that everyone was out of the building before they checked the situation outside, where it was even more chaos with people all running in the same direction away from where the shore was. From that direction the same rumbling could be heard, the ground shaking before inevitably the first or maybe the only Kaiju rounds the corner, going straight through a building, and a moment later the helicopter spotlight trained right on it. 

The roar let out from the creature only made the crowd panic more, knocking other people down in their rush to get into one of the secure underground bunkers until all of it was over. 

"Shit! Of all the times to be stuck without access to a Jaeger." Jongdae curses. 

"We can worry about that later, I'm sure the others have it. Now move or there won't be either of us left to pilot the Paragon." 

Jongdae turns and runs then, making sure that people who had fallen were getting up and moving, the pair themselves being the ones to wait to get into the absolutely last bunker that they could. 

"Youngho!" 

Jongdae turns around to see where the shrill voice had come from, looking to see a woman pointing past the sea of moving people to the street. The child standing helplessly in the middle of the street crying his eyes out as people ran around him to get away from the beast currently heading their way. He curses under his breath, pushing through the flood of people heading into the bunker, making it to the crying kid just as the Kaiju was right upon them, pieces of building flying towards them at a rate that was something that they couldn't possibly out run if they did otherwise. 

“Jongdae!” 

But in the moment Jongdae's body does the unthinkable and actually freezes for the crucial moment in time staring down the beasts glowing eyes and how it was lumbering body was coming ever closer, but the impact he's expecting never comes, and it feels like the slow motion that he had been experiencing is ripped away as he hears the monster roar in a familiar screech of pain. 

Jongdae opens his eyes to see the familiar form of the Onyx Ace, the sleek black Jaeger punching back the Kaiju with a swift punch as they fully round the corner of the large building that was beginning to crumble, more glass and stone being thrown everywhere. Jongdae shakes it off cradling the child's head as he beelines it back towards the bunker, seeing Minseok's familiar hand waiting for them as he pulls them in with a swift pull just as the doors seal shut. 

Jongdae immediately hands the kid off to his mother who was thanking him tearfully, as she took him back into her arms, meanwhile Minseok pulls him closer to him the second the child is back with his mother, looking at him in the eyes he could tell that the other man was furious with him for doing something so rash, rather than actually mad at _him_. The whole room falls into another bout of shreeks and whimpers as yet another crash and roar were felt and heard coming from the outside. 

This signalling that the battle was only just beginning, though Jongdae had no doubt that Kyungsoo and Jongin and whatever other Jaeger team might be deployed would be able to handle it. 

To keep Minseok's searing gaze off of him, Jongdae moves away from the other man. "Is anyone hurt?" he asks, beginning to move around the crowd and providing basic first aid where he could for the people that had been hit with the debris on their way into the bunkers. 

After a moment he hears Minseok doing the same and joins with a few other people sooner or later. 

What a monumental night indeed. 

*** 

"Two Kaiju came into Busan for the first time in five years since the Jaeger program was introduced. deftly named the Raider and the Ironback... Causing massive damage to the section of the city that they nearly leveled and hundreds injured and dead..." 

Jongdae watches the news report, still in his now dirty and blood covered uniform, as he watches the earlier attack replay on the television, what had felt like hours under the bunker was surely only half an hour at most as the Onyx Ace and Echo Typhoon were displayed taking down the pair of destructive beasts before they could get any closer to the city. 

"What we really need to know is how they got that close to the shore without tripping any of the sensors from the event... it just doesn't make any sense that would happen." Yixing says, with a frustrated sigh, the man had been going over the readings that he had been able to take of the creature and none of them had demonstrated any ability from the looks of it to disable any of their sensors. 

"They're getting smart..." Kyungsoo remarks. "That was the first time, Jongin and I have had an issue tactically trying to take down a Jaeger, it's almost as if they were searching for something or maybe testing us. I don't know." 

Jongin nods in agreement. "It doesn't seem as mindless as usual... Maybe it's because the Cataclysm arrived?" 

"But why would that matter to them that another Jaeger arrived... they've never shown such interest before." Yixing remarks. 

"Well, things are changing... a few months ago there was no such thing as a category three... nor multiple combinations of Kaiju coming through the rift." Junmyeon says leaning back into his chair. "I wouldn't put it totally past them to have learned something from us as we have from them... as unsettling as that sounds." 

Yixing lets out another sigh. "I just wish Kaiju remains didn't dissipate so quickly from the time of death, we could probably learn so much more from them then." The scientist looks at the holograms of the two beasts. 

The commander rubs his forehead with a sigh. "Either way, it's enough for tonight... they'll bring what's salvageable of both Kaiju tomorrow and then you can have a look at it tomorrow morning, Doctor Zhang." He turns to the rest of the pilots in the room. "The rest of you hit the barracks, you've earned rest." And with that the man simply turns and leaves the room, Yixing himself wishing them a goodnight before he himself leaves the room. 

"Are you okay, Dae?" Jongin asks, warm brown eyes looking at him with slight concern although they had been the ones to be in total combat with the large creature. 

Jongdae rubs his eyes as he stands. "Yeah, I'm fine, Nini. Just a little tired." 

Jongin nods, seemingly accepting that answer from him. "I just wanted to make sure since you seemed like you got stuck in the middle of the street." 

Jongdae tries to keep down his reaction, he hadn't thought the pilots would have been able to see his reaction, but Kyungsoo looking at him with those sharp eyes told him otherwise. "Yeah, I was okay... the kid was struggling a little bit. I didn't get injured or anything like that."

Kyungsoo nods. "Good night, sleep well." He gives the two the briefest of smiles. 

Sehun and Junmyeon follow just behind them, Sehun clapping a gentle hand on their shoulders on their way out wishing them a good night. 

"You too..." Jongdae replies a little too late. 

Minseok throws an arm around his shoulder then. "Lets go get some rest." 

Jongdae felt relieved with the weight, it meant that the other man wasn't cross with him, or at least as he had been in the moment outside of the bunker. So Jongdae allows himself to relax under the touch, he knew that Minseok knew better without him having to say a word. The pair make their way down the halls to get yet another shower, taking off the now sort of ruined uniforms, Jongdae could only hope that some form of dry cleaning would be able to get the stains and dust out of the cloth since he doubted that any of the washing machines here were going to be able to do a think about some of the blood he had gotten on himself while trying to attend to injuries. 

With a sigh he throws himself back against his bed with a sigh, towel once again on top of his head, on his feed footage of the fight being circulated around, by both Kaiju enthusiasts and the people who actively followed the Onyx Ace's and Echo Typhoon's activities. 

The most recent footage recapping Kyungsoo and Jongin using their dual ion blades to cut an appendage off of the Kaiju while simultaneously trying to push it farther back out of the city it was desperately trying to claw its way through. 

Another scroll showed a clip of their interview by one of their major fan pages as he called it, above was the caption, _'look at the way Minseok looks at him~ Aren't they cute?'_ Jongdae stares at the picture for a moment, but not too much longer as he hears the door open to their room and abruptly shuts his phone off before he could let his mind go off into the hopeful tangent that it wanted to. 

"Hey, you don't look like your baking went horrendously wrong." Jongdae remarks sitting up, to finish drying his hair. 

Minseok turns around and smiles, his black hair still dripping a bit from his shower. "You don't look too bad yourself." 

Silence falls across the room again and Minseok stares at him. "Are you sure you're okay, Dae? Look I'm not... and wasn't mad at you, you just happened to scare the life out of me when all I could see is that you were running in the direction of the Kaiju." 

Jongdae lets out a little huff then. "I'm okay. Just seeing that kid like that took me back in my own memories. It stunned me a little." 

Minseok walks over to the bed ruffling Jongdae's hair. "Well, that's my selfless little co-pilot." 

"Oh, please, you said it yourself that it was one of the things that you liked most about me." 

Minseok gives him a look. "And _also_ one of the things that had me worried about you, Dae." He walks over shutting off the lights in the room. "Goodnight, Jongdae." 

"Night, Min." 

After a moment he hears Minseok settle underneath his covers and his breathing rapidly shift into the pattern of sleep, and who could blame them, this evening had been enough to drain them both physically and mentally, Jongdae dares to open up his phone again, looking at the clip that the person had posted of them. Jongdae was looking towards the hosts of the show, while Minseok was more or less looking at him the entire time, a warmth in his eyes that he was all too familiar with at this point.

Locking his phone again and turning to get comfortable, he tries to settle the butterflies in his stomach again, remembering how Minseok had gently brushed his hair back into place. 

_Go to sleep, Jongdae... you're reading too much into things._

And although that was the very thing that he told himself that night, it didn't help when more clips showed up across the timeline, and the others in their group good naturedly teasing them about the whole entire interview. 

It didn't stop Jongdae form once again, avoiding his roommate and object of his affections once again. 

And it didn't stop him from staring at the war clock once again, this time it was counting five days without an incident, a number that was as calming as it was fear inducing. This time Jongdae chose to make his perch on the railing in front of the station that held the Paragon until they were ready for their next fight. the familiar glow of the turbines absent and instead replaced by the other lights of the warehouse and the activities of other people on the floor. 

Currently some repairs are being made to the Catamount Fury after the three man rig had gone out to take a mission by itself for the first time five days ago, the Kaiju a little fiercer than they had been expecting, but in a way no match for the three armed Jaeger. 

His vacant watching is disturbed by the sound of someone else walking along the metal Pathway heading towards him, Jongdae doesn't turn his head to look at the person as they take a seat next to him on the metal railway, leaning their head on his shoulder. 

"You needed to escape too, Baek?" Jongdae asks, legs swinging in the open space. 

"Hmm, no... came looking for you. You're hiding away again. I saw you sitting up here when I looked up." He replies.

Jongdae merely hums. 

Baekhyun sighs a little. "What's wrong? Did you and Min-hyung get into a fight?" 

Jongdae shakes his head again. "No... nothing like that. I don't know, I just want to be alone." 

Baekhyun is silent for a moment besides the rustling of his jacket as he shifts his position again. "Nightmares again? Nini told us how you froze in the middle of the street saving that kid, you sure you're alright?" 

Jongdae looks at him then, the other man peering up at him, with questioning eyes. "Yeah, some nightmares... they're not too bad though." 

Although for once he could just say that that was all that was plaguing his thoughts. 

"Well you know where to find me, if you're brave enough to venture outside without your nightlight." 

Jongdae snorts a smile coming over his face at the comment. "Thanks, I'll be sure to keep that in mind..." 

Baekhyun just presses himself a little closer to his friend. "Hmm, you sure everything is okay between you and hyung?" 

Jongdae's expression shifts. "Yeah, I'm sure... why?" 

"Hyung looks pretty down, and you've been obviously avoiding him." 

Jongdae flushing a little. "Has it been that obvious?" 

"Yeah, only a blind man would be able to miss that fact. you two are nearly joined at the hip." Baekhyun sighs again. "Look, just tell him... since you're so worried about your mortality. What's the worst thing that could happen?" 

"A lot, It could make everything awkward... and then what would happen to our bond? What happens if it ruins our compatibility? Then that's one less Jaeger to defend Korea." Jongdae shakes his head. 

Baekhyun sighs a little louder this time, raising his head from Jongdae's shoulder and replacing it with one of his arms, shaking him slightly. "You know hyung isn't like that. He wouldn't let something like that affect his duties... and he certainly wouldn't just dump you." 

Jongdae just processes the words silently, eyes focused on the floor where the people below were still moving the various parts needed to repair the Catamount.

"I certainly don't regret doing it myself... Channie and I are certainly better for it." Baekhyun laughs. "Even Nini did the unthinkable, and confessed to the most regimented of us outside of Hyung, and they're okay because Soo wouldn't let anything like that stop him, again they were better for it rather than just bottling it up." 

Jongdae sighs then, looking down at his feet. "But we're not like you two... or Nini and Soo."

Baekhyun laughs. "My god... you really don't see it, when it's right there in front of you." He shakes his head. "Incredible. Mr. top of our platoon." 

Jongdae narrows his eyes. "See what?" 

Baekhyun shakes his head then, that little knowing smile, looking back out towards the floor as well, Jongdae following his gaze to where Baekhyun's own Jaeger stood at the ready, the faded yellow paint of the Jaeger proudly displaying their many battle marks and victories. "No, it's no fun that way. You'll get it eventually." 

Jongdae whines then as Baekhyun ruffles his hair, but his expression turns serious once again. "But seriously, talk to him before your fear does come to fruition and it does start hindering your combat... that or I'm sure Hyung will take the initiative himself." 

They pause for a moment, Jongdae mulling over his words knowing that the other man was correct, he did need to talk to Minseok, confess even. The war clock itself acts as some sort of driving force while also acting as a hindrance. 

"But for now, instead of fighting your feelings... Come fight a punching bag with me? Please?" Baekhyun looks at him imploringly. "Channie is doing something else and no one else will do it with me." 

Pushing back the other thoughts for a moment he rolls his eyes. "So I'm your last thought, how delightful." He shakes his head playfully. 

Baekhyun smiles brighter, standing up and pulling Jongdae up with him. "Come on, let's work on those noodle arms of yours."

"Please, I'm a little buffer than you." Jongdae scoffs as he allows himself to be led off. 

***

It's another couple of days before Jongdae was finally able to settle all of the feelings in his mind, and made up his mind to actually at least start the conversation with Minseok. But forcing himself to actually do it was another completely different thing, every time he think he would be able to do it, Minseok would look at him and his mouth would suddenly go dry, all of his carefully crafted words deleting themselves with his person and he would simply turn around with a quiet never mind. 

And as Baekhyun speculated, his own turmoil was beginning to bleed into the way they fought, having lost the majority if not all of his spars with Minseok when they did it, earning more than one questioning gaze from his co-pilot, staring at him such intensity 

That it was as if he was trying to establish his own breach into Jongdae's brain without the use of the Jaeger to connect them, and he knew it was beginning to bleed into the last few fights they'd had with some Kaiju. He could feel himself pulling back a little, and he knew Minseok would notice it too as he was forcing himself to relax, luckily it hadn't incurred any major hiccups in their fighting , at least for the moment. 

With a sigh, Jongdae leans back against his bed, staring up at the ceiling as if the lights above would magically spell out what was on his mind for Minseok to conveniently see. 

And at that moment he was given the opportunity, Minseok walking through the doors after his evening workout if it was any indication from the fresh scent of his body wash wafting through the room. 

Jongdae has it in his mind that he's going to say something, biting his lip. 

It was now or never. 

"We need to talk..." Minseok says, as Jongdae pulls out his earbud, effectively beating him to his own punch. 

Jongdae sits up fully then, his back against the wall as he removes his other earbud wrapping them neatly and placing them on his nightside table, he clears his throat. "Right... what's up?" 

Minseok takes a seat across from him on the edge of his bed, towel over his shoulders as he once regards Jongdae in the way that has him wanting to look away and hide. "Have I done something I'm not aware of? You're avoiding me... _again_."

The last part is especially stressed, causing Jongdae to flinch a little internally. "Right... no, it's not anything you did." 

Minseok takes in a breath. "Okay, then talk to me, whats going on? You've been distracted since our interview night..." And then his eyes light up with a certain realization. "Did you have a nightmare again?" 

Jongdae wrings his hands together, letting out a little sigh. "Yeah, I've been having nightmares again. It's okay though, I didn't want to bother you." 

Minseok sighs, sounding kind of exasperated. "You know you're never a bother, Dae... you should've just woken me up." 

"Right..." Jongdae nods. 

The space between them lingers again, sort of uncomfortable for once. 

"I've been trying not to press, but that's not all there is, is it?" Minseok says, obviously trying to pry a little bit deeper. 

Jongdae is silent for a moment. 

Minseok sighs. “Jongdae what is it?” 

Jongdae laughs then. “It stupid, alright. Nothing you need to worry about. I’m just in my own head too much.” He shrugs. “It's honestly embarrassing.” 

“‘ _Nothing_ ’ enough to avoid me?” Minseok’s eyes look at him a little accusingly then. “When that makes it more than obvious that it has something to do with me.” 

Jongdae narrows his eyes then. “Well what do you want me to say? I told you it's nothing. Besides it's not going to affect our work.”

“It's already affecting our work!” Minseok glares, his voice biting off in that way that showed his annoyance. “Given how sloppy we’ve been our last two fights.” 

Like a frost going over flowers, wiping them under its touch, but instead of making Jongdae wilt it sent a fiery streak up his back. 

“Oh? And that's somehow exclusively, _my_ fault?” Jongdae crosses his arms, a mirror of Minseok’s posturing. 

“You said it, not me.” 

Jongdae scoffs. “Well since you’re so _great_ , then my feelings and thoughts should have no effect on you, the oh so impeccable military man Kim Minseok.” Jongdae begins pushing himself away from his bed, feeling his ears heat up with tell tale signs of anger, heart rapidly in the effort to push the blood there. 

“Then I’ll stay out of your way. Keep your embarrassing feelings to yourself.” 

Jongdae wasn’t even looking at him now, too focused on trying to find something to throw on and leave the room. “Fine.” 

“ _Perfect_.” 

And as if to mock him further, Jongdae is barely out of the door when their room lights up with the alerts calling them to service.


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Mention of Seizures in this half. 
> 
> Hello, another 18k words later and she is finally done!  
> I would like to thank everyone who left comments, and supported the story! It means a lot! 
> 
> Writing this I went through a mixture of music spanning from a lot of Zack Hemsey's music to Oasis by Sam Smith. XD
> 
> I hope you enjoy the second part and I'll see you next time! 
> 
> Thank you to the lovely, Xiuchen4ever for looking this over, you're a complete gem! 
> 
> -Arya.

_ Fucking perfect...  _ Jongdae thinks, throwing away the hoodie he’d finally chosen with a little more force than was probably necessary into a corner on the side of his room as he exits the room, not looking to see if Minseok was following him out. Walking through the halls he sees Sehun and Junmyeon exiting their room, seeing the familiar symbol of the Echo Typhoon on the back of their matching blue-green Jackets.

Junmyeon immediately smiles at him. “Dae,” and then his brow furrows, eyes searching. “Where’s Minseok?” 

Jongdae shrugs as they walk, not offering anything else as they continue down to the loading dock. And he chooses to ignore the look Sehun and Junmyeon share, but is grateful that the pair don’t dig into it any further. 

Along the way they also run into Baekhyun and Chanyeol, their familiar eye catching yellow jackets of the Solar Wyvern pilots catching the light out of the corner of their eyes as they enter the elevator. 

“The Paragon and the Echo too?” Baekhyun’s voice sounds surprised. “Where’s Hyung?”

Jongdae knows the question is directed at him. “Don’t know. He was in our room.” 

Jongdae is the first to exit the elevator once they reach their destination, if not to avoid the bout questioning that he was going to get, but he doesn’t move fast enough when he sees Baekhyun’s elegant fingers curling around his shoulder with a gentle touch, stopping Jongdae in his tracks as the man looks at him with genuine concern. 

“What happened?” 

Jongdae looks around letting a little breath, his eyes catching Minseok exiting the elevator that led into the room, and walking this way. “I don’t want to talk about it now.” He pulls away before Baekhyun can ask anything else. 

He would probably feel bad about it later, but now he was more focused on getting ready to fight, it might actually be good for him to punch something. 

It never had been as quiet, in the conn pod than this, not even before their actual official deployment together, and not just some practice runs to make sure that they could actually pilot the Jaeger. 

He’s sure that the other techs, a part of their team, noticed the silence, and tension was still rife in the air, even as they both thanked the people leaving the Conn pod, Jongdae feeling that familiar jolt as they began their descent to the main body of the Jaeger. 

Jongdae instead focuses on his gloves, slightly tugging at them although they are perfectly fitted as always. Grateful when they finally settle on into the rest of the Paragon, the display in front of him begins to come to life, looking at some of the initial systems lighting up. 

_ “Alright, Paragon… are we ready for the bridge?”  _ The voice of Yixing filtering in through their coms.

“Yixing?” Minseok questions. 

Yixings small bubble of laughter filters though.  _ “Yes, I know at least for the moment… The Echo and the Wyvern are hearing the same thing. But I just have a request really quickly, if you can try to keep the Kaiju brains intact.”  _

Jongdae smiles a little bit. “Will do, doc.” 

_ “Great! Good luck out there you all.”  _ Yixing’s voice disappears, replaced with the original operator. 

Jongdae closes his eyes hearing that familiar countdown as the drifting sequence begins, sending him tumbling through each other's memories, seeing Minseok’s childhood and everything else, the more promising moment of when he had told his father that he was enlisting in the Jaeger pilot program. All familiar to him, and yet at the same time closed off in a sense as at the moment there was just this overbearing feeling of disterment between them. 

It had happened before, but nothing ever this bad. 

Jongdae even finds himself falling into his own memory, almost chasing the rabbit before he shakes himself free from the strong negative feeling. The first time he had nearly slipped since being a cadet. 

_ “Paragon, are you okay? Your Neural handshake is a little unstable…”  _

Jongdae shakes off the fog from his mind and ignores the gaze that Minseok gives him. 

“We’re fine.” Jongdae confirms. 

“We’re fine.” Minseok echoes after a moment of silence, and Jongdae can feel his eyes leave him then.

Jongdae begins to feel them being moved then to the outside of the very large hangar, moving smooth across the floor. 

_ “What we think you’re coming into are three Kaiju, Two are Category Two and the other one is a Category Three, codenames: Fangreaver, Ironmaul, and Infringer. The Wyvern is going to stand back and guard the shore for now.”  _

"Understood." Minseok says. 

Soon they’re dropped into the sea again, and Jongdae is now able to focus all of his negative emotions onto the monsters in front of them rather than, through their drift or at least most of it so that it wouldn't be anything other than a small heat in the midst of their bond. 

_ "They're big." _ He hears Sehun remark through their interconnected coms. 

"Yeah... a lot bigger than the other ones." Jongdae is able to hear the slight frown in Minseok’s voice. 

Soon both of the Jaeger teams are clashing with the large beasts with a grunt, feeling satisfied at the first punching that they’re able to land on the beast sending it back a little ways into the water. Jongdae wasn’t even thinking about what moves to make next, at the moment it was just all pure instinct, though he could feel briefly the pull on the back of his mind the brief struggle went through as he deployed one of their weapons into the Kaiju, once again sending it back. 

_ “Paragon, on your left!”  _ Junmyeon’s voice suddenly filters in through their helmet. 

They turn with just enough time to see the tail of a Kaiju coming around to send them flying into the water, jolting the whole thing quite violently that he felt it through his teeth. They return to their feet, just in time to see the Kaiju coming at them again, reacting quickly they pull out their blades scratching across the large beasts skin to keep it back. 

Both of the pilots satisfactorily watching as the creature hisses back, the cuts oozing blood becoming visible along the pathways of skin where they had cut, there was something strange about the cuts, it was as if he had just barely given it a paper cut, and the water was just irritating it. 

"Ironmaul would be correct in more ways than one." He hears Minseok mutter as the large beast charges at them again. "We're going to have to use high energy based weapons on this one." 

"I know." Jongdae remarks as they finally clash with the beast once again, the whole vibration of the clash jarring him up through his teeth, as they wrestle with the large creature eventually getting enough momentum to lift it up and over their heads. 

"Engaging elbow rockets." Jongdae states, hitting the button and soon feeling the extra push forcing the larger body of the Kaiju into the water pinned underneath them for the time being. 

_ ‘Loading plasma cannon.’  _ Appears on the screen in front of them. 

Their arm draws back for a moment as the weapon materializes the, the crackling of the energy from the device forming on the end of their arm coming to full term, as they fire more than one shot beneath them into the water, steam coming up with the eventual stain of Kaiju blood filling the murky depths of the water below them, only pleased when they could feel the stillness, and even then Minseok decides to discharge one last shot. 

_ "If you're not too busy we could use some help over here!" _ Sehun's voice comes straining over the intercoms, having them turning around to see that the pair were currently entangled with the likes of the Kaiju codenamed Fangreaver, the wiry beast jumping the Jaeger and doing the best of its ability to get the large robot under the water. 

From the way it was scratching against the machine, he was sure that the robot would have new battle scars to bare after all of this was over, the familiar seafoam paint job already scuffed and worn. 

"We're on our way, Echo." Minseok states. 

They begin pressing through the water, making it a little more difficult for them to move as quickly as they would like, Jongdae beginning to feel sweat pool down the sides of his face, the lower half of his face mask slightly fogged from the efforts. 

The pair greet the other Kaiju with a punch, knocking the beast off of the other Jaeger crew and back down into the water, how ever that was immediately short lived as the creature popped right back up from the water, one tall shooting out from the water and curling around their right arm, slowly dragging them off balance and towards the water, but a moment later the Echo is quick to make a move stepping on the creatures back and discharging missiles right onto to it, causing the beast to roar and glance back although the efforts were stopped by the Echo's other hand coming and grabbing the back of its neck and ripping off one of the horns resting there with little pause or hesitation and then continuing to dig its fingers in there, but this only seemed to enrage the beast more as the robotic fingers dug deeper into the wound. 

They take their time and cut the other tentacle off of them with a blade just in time to see that the creature had moved another finally achieving its goal of making at least of the Jaeger's dip into the water, the large creature wasting no time in coming forwards and going in to repeatedly slam down on the body of the large robot. 

"Tough bastard." Minseok growls out. 

Jongdae would agree again, as they race forward plasma cannon charged and shooting at the back of the creature as they once again try to engage, one of the tentacles shooting out at them once again, they slide through them with ease cutting through the tails like butter as they reach their main goal again, rearing back for another rocket aided punch to get the Kaiju off of their comrades. 

"Echo, are you alright?" Jongdae questions. 

_ "Fine..." _ He hears Junmyeon's voice gasp out, feeling relieved when he sees the other robot stand from the water.  _ "A little shaken, but we've taken no serious damage."  _

"Let's finish this." Minseok remarks, and the two Jaegers go forward charging at the beast again, the echo coming into contact first with it, holding it back with strong arms as it once again tries to land blows on its main body but to no avail. They go behind it, and Jongdae for the first time meets Minseok's eyes at the same time that the other man's choose to meet his with a nod. 

"Echo be advised that we're going to burn through." Jongdae says, looking for the right panel menu pulling up the little chart that brought up the center where the powerhouse of their Jaeger was completely stored. 

Getting completely behind the Kaiju, they wrap it completely from behind as it struggles. Jongdae can feel it when the bright center of their radioactive core begins burning through beast, the shrieks and the trying to claw out of its grip becoming even more prominent, before with one last jerk the beast finally goes still, a hole having burn entirely through the cavity of the body, as it falls to the water a perfect circle being shown coming through to the other side where the Echo was standing a little ways away. 

The pair of Jaegers turn their attention to where in the distance could be seen the familiar shine of the Wyvern's main weapon being displayed, the smaller Jaeger throwing the whip around striking at the last of the Kaiju with deft strokes to keep it at bay. The Wyvern being the smallest and the lightest out of all of the Jaegers deployed at the moment, which both had its advantages and its disadvantages.

“Wyvern, we’re headed your way! Hang on.” Minseok states as they once again begin to push the large robot through the water, the Echo Typhoon just behind them. 

_ “Sounds great,” _ Baekhyun answers.  _ “Bring some food while you’re at it!”  _

Jongdae finds himself smiling despite the situation, that his friend could continue being that humorous despite the obvious effort of the pair of them jumping around and wielding the whip. The long beam of energy, becoming clearer as the blue glow, came more into focus. The Wyvern using the recent grip it had gotten around the Kaiju’s neck to hold it in place as they then lifted it over their heads into the water, the smoke from the high energy weapon sending smoke through the air as it sizzled against the skin. 

They’re just in range of the other Jaeger when something jumps out of the water, taking the Echo Typhoon by surprise, nearly knocking them into the water. Both Minseok and Jongdae turn immediately ready to assist the other team of pilots, looking at the Kaiju as the one that they thought that they had taken down at first. 

_ “We’ve got this! Help the Wyvern!”  _ Junmyeon’s voice filters in as their Jaeger delivers a punishing punch to the beast back off of them regaining their footing, water rippling out from the violent movements. 

Jongdae can feel the moment Minseok has already hesitating against that before he even turns to look at him. 

“Come on. They’ll be fine.” Jongdae leads them away, continuing their path towards the large beast currently trying its best to wriggle out of the grip the weapon had around its neck, from the way the Wyvern was beginning to inch forwards that was seeming much more like a possibility at the moment.

They push themselves into the air, fists drawn back as they drop the punch down on top of the beasts head. Jongdae would’ve maybe had a little sympathy had this been a human as they bring their other arm around to add another punch again before adding their knee to the mix of the short barrage giving the beast an uppercut, sending it sprawling back into the water.

Their next move has them grabbing one of the beast's horns, ripping it from its back with an unceremonious flare, sending another roar of pain into the air, the beast movements causing the high energy beam around its neck to dig in deeper. More smoke appeared in the air, something Jongdae could only imagine smelled worse than whatever his brain was supplying to step in for the burning flesh. Perhaps it was something worse than burning human flesh. The chunk of flesh leaves their hands flying off into the ocean once again as they deliver yet again another punch to the top of the beasts head, on their other hand, their plasma cannon is firing up. But before they could blast the Kaiju to kingdom come, one one of the legs of the Wyvern buckle underneath them, the Jaeger falling onto one knee as they completely lose their balance. 

And it's enough for the pair of pilots to loosen their grip on the whip as the tail of the creature emerges from the deep and sends the Jaeger crashing into the water. 

_ "Son of a bitch! It took out our left leg!" _ Baekhyun's voice comes through their coms, a pained tone to his voice. 

_ "Look out!" _ Chanyeol's voice says next. 

Tearing both of their attentions to the beast who once again was swinging its tail at them, small rivers of blood from various wounds on its body but nonetheless all eyes were locked on them and seriously pissed, but they block just in time for it not to send them back into the water, just sliding back a few feet, but this recovery time isn't enough for them for them to prepare for the next attack that comes their way, the full weight of the Kaiju baring into them sending them crash them into the water. 

"Close the ports! Close the ports!" Minseok's voice shouts. 

Although both of their hands were already moving before Minseok had even voiced the words as they begin to fall into the water, there's a brief moment of relief knowing that all of them were closed even as the jarring feeling of hitting the sandy floor of the ocean, their vision now obscured now through water as the Kaiju's shadow begins to fall over them. 

"If it even breaks an inch of glass, we're  _ fucked. _ " 

The very real amount of fear that suddenly coats their link shakes Jongdae slightly, even more so when he can hear it in Minseok's voice, he had always been the rock. 

_ His _ rock. 

It takes him back for a brief moment to the sounds and smells of screaming and burning, dust filling the air, That feeling of fear filling his chest up like ice, unmovable and jarring him, as more of a scene comes into view, echoing screams getting louder, buildings crumbling, streets filled with running people. 

The feel of his mothers hand grasping his hand tightly as they pull him through ruined streets. 

The sound of his name. 

" _ Jongdae _ !" 

Jongdae comes out of the fog realizing that it wasn't his mother calling his name, rather Minseok's voice calling him back from the memory hurried and strained. Slightly disoriented he takes in the situation again, the Kaiju had gotten a lot closer than when he had frozen up, and it was obvious that they were losing, a moment longer and this thing would tear through the hull like a sheet of paper. Acting on instinct he deploys the knife from their hand, driving it into the creature's abdomen with a firm push, feeling the creature reel back for just a moment trying to escape from the weapon that they had driven there. 

But neither of them give the creature the chance, running their arm up and slicing the Kaiju open vertically before it finally fell limp, blood coming out into the water in front of them, with the crash of the organs not to far behind, they push the carcass off of them, pushing themselves out from the water, until they once again could see the little bit of daylight on the surface, Jongdae now only registering Baekhyun and Chanyeol's voices talking to them through the spiderwebs that were still covering his mind as he tried to re-focus into their current situation. 

His heart was hammering, and it wasn't just because of the physical activity. 

_ "Hyung! Is Dae alright?" _ Baekhyun's words finally register through his helmet with a worried shrill. 

Jongdae can feel when Minseok briefly looks at him to assess him, the gaze lingering to gain further detail. "He's fine... Just chased the rabbit." 

Jongdae shakes his head, clearing his throat. "Yeah, I'm fine, Baek..." 

A slight sigh comes through the communication system.  _ "That's good... but we're out. That thing really did completely take out our leg, The Echo needs your help." _ Chanyeol says, the urgent tone of his voice pumping his adrenaline further, bringing a little more clarity to his addled brain. 

Jongdae surveys the open sea in front of them, immediately spotting the Jaeger struggling now with the battle of the Kaiju, the spot that they had shot it in earlier, still visible, but for some reason it looked as if it had barely made a dent into the creature, or if it was healing. 

"Echo, we're on our way! Hang in there." Jongdae says. 

They don't get a response as they immediately charge through the water, although for Jongdae it felt like they were going in slow motion, like they were running through molasses and every step only seemed to make them that much slower, this feeling for Jongdae is only added as they watch the Kaiju that Sehun and Junmyeon were handling suddenly start taking them into the air, at some point having gotten the leverage to get the Jaeger into his claws just as they reach there. 

"Holy shit, command are you seeing this?" Minseok says. 

"We have to shoot it down before they're too high." Jongdae says priming their missiles. 

"If we shoot them down here, they won't have time to brace, that will kill them." Minseok says, the edge of his voice as frustrated as Jongdae felt. 

"We can't just do nothing." Jongdae stresses, in a normal situation he would've flinched at the way the words slightly cracked leaving his throat, but now he barely notices as he watches their comrades being taken higher and higher into the air, knowing that before the screen could even tell him that they were out of range and would more than likely hit the Echo as well if they tried to fire now. 

"Command, where are they?" Jongdae asks, finally losing the machine behind the cloud bank. 

"Sehun, Junmyeon... come in! Can you hear us?!" Minseok tries. 

In response all there was is a simple crackle, as they could only watch helplessly at the clouds, that is until a bright flash shown through the clouds above, and then a moment later they could see a couple of things falling, first being the body of the Kaiju, or at least pieces of it, and second being the Echo Typhoon. 

"Shit. If they hit the water at this speed..." Minseok grits out, almost looking like he was ready to take the step forward to catch them. 

"There has to be something we can do!" Jongdae's throat felt dry, thinking through the possibilities but there was none, most of them involved both of the Jaeger's and their pilots being absolutely crushed under the speed of the other machine. 

"Echo if you can hear me! Eject,  _ eject! _ " Jongdae all but shouts through their connect comms. 

But all he receives in response is the broken voice of one of the pilots distantly coming through and the yell that comes through his throat as he watches the other Jaeger crash into the water as if swallowed by the waves, and the sudden click of their com line going dead. 

***

Silence. 

Jongdae doesn't think that he had ever felt so empty in his life, there were many things that he should've felt in the moment, exhaustion should've been the forefront. But nothing came as he merely stared at the floor in front of them, the grey concrete unshifting and moving in front of his eyes, although he burrowed through it as if it should've had all of the answers he was looking for. 

But instead it remained the inanimate object that it had always been, and that infuriated him to no end. 

So much so that his helmet was going across the room into the metal lockers before he could even recognize, he himself had stood up and thrown it from his hands, the black of the gear matching the rest of the suit that covered his body. 

The sound ricocheted throughout the empty room, Jongdae probably would’ve minded more Had it not been for the absolute amount of rage that was blinding any of his thoughts at the moment, it was almost jarring to him how quickly he went from feeling empty to feeling like he would just tear apart anything that was in his path at the moment. 

Anything to make the feeling of nothing to go away and at the same time to make the anger just go away, to change the last few hours, at the moment he felt his own anger might've been able to tear through the fabric of existence and fix all of it. 

Change the past few hours. 

He remembers he isn't alone however when a hand stops his own from punching his hand through the wall for another time, although his brain hadn't really registered the first, only now was he beginning to feel the repercussions of the action with a slightly throbbing hand, but all of that is gone when he turns his head to meet Minseok's gaze. Like him the other man still is dressed in his Drivesuit, the black metal exterior almost as scratched as their Jaeger was, but without as deep of scratches, on one side listed the name of the Jaeger, the pilot and what Mark the accompanying Jaeger was. 

Jongdae realizes that Minseok had stopped him from punching the wall again, a firm, but still gentle grasp on his arm. 

"Min..." His voice cracks then. 

Before he can even feel the burn in his eyes, Minseok has already pulled him to him, the metal of the Drivesuit as simultaneously cold as it was warm once his cheek rests against its surface, for a moment forgotten the tension that they had felt earlier, a nearly non-existent hum in their bond. 

"If I hadn't-" 

" _ Shh _ , It's not your fault." The other man cuts him short. “ _ Don’t  _ you dare blame yourself.” 

Minseok’s voice is whispered in his ear, low, warm, and comforting like home, his hands lightly stroking the back of his head, running his hands through the strands. 

Jongdae’s eyes begin to blur with tears, the burning replaced with the cool of his tears finally escaping his eyes. “But if I hadn’t chased the rabbit, I wouldn’t have wasted  _ time _ , we could’ve helped them.” he shakes slightly now wrapped in his co-pilots arms. 

"There was nothing either of us could've done... we did everything we could, Jongdae." Minseok says, the tone trying to reassure him as much he was himself. "There was a lot going on, none of us could have predicted that Kaiju's abilities." Minseok's hand rubs a comforting hand on his back, although the feeling was muted by the layers of the suit covering his body. 

They stood in silence then, and although he wasn't speaking anymore, Jongdae still couldn't get that sudden silence out of his mind from the Echo hitting the water. 

From their friends hitting the water. 

There had to have been something that they could've done to move faster. 

Literally he if he hadn't chased that  _ damn  _ rabbit. 

If he hadn’t chased the past. 

"I should've been paying more attention to you." Minseok says. "We have a responsibility to each other as much as we do watching out for the other Jaeger crews... besides, the pods were gone from the Jaeger. It's possible that they could've survived." 

The image of the Echo Typhoon's torn body flashes in his mind then, one of the arms missing from the side, paint singed black from the speed and re-entry from the sky, scratches all over the husk of the machine, glass of the front of the conn pod shattered adding to the further waterlogged nature the robot was taking. 

The way it felt to lift what they could from the water. 

Jongdae presses himself free then, tearing himself away from the safety of warmth the other man's arms had brought him, and instead he favors the wall, his eyes still a blurry field of vision as he tries to swipe them away. 

He couldn't stand the thought of sooner or later seeing the holograms of his friends put up with the rest of the Rangers and Commanders who had lost their lives in this war, it just all didn't seem fair. 

"But there were no vitals! And now the Wyvern is out of commission as well!" Jongdae shouts turning around to look at the man once again, but all he could see is a blurry blob in front of him that was roughly the shape of Minseok. "We fucked up today and there's no changing that... I..." Jongdae loses steam then, his shoulders slightly slumping. 

And then again for the same time that day, he leaves the room, leaving Minseok behind with the slight hiss of yet another door. 

***

The mood of the base was a little more than somber, although it still had the movement, and energy that was needed from the military base as the war stopped for no one, there was a layer of quietness that hung around every corner as if in the form of every shadow with every interaction. 

It made Jongdae's stomach churn to think about the empty spot where the Echo Typhoon was once housed, at first Jongdae could hold out the little hope that Minseok had been right, the escape pods had been ejected from the Jaegers. 

But there was no telling what could've happened to them when they did, solidifying their own metal caskets as they hit the water, if something went wrong forever buried beneath the waves.

He shakes his head, continuing his walk, not sparing a glance at his own Jaeger currently going under repairs by the techs, instead he decides to busy himself by visiting the labs, looking for a familiar face amongst the white coats and other things, eventually he finds the face he was looking for.

"Doctor Zhang." 

The man stands up from his stooped position off of the table, turning back to greet him with a soft smile, even if it was a bit tired around the edges. "Ranger Kim." 

Jongdae huffs, leaning against one of the tables, arms crossed. "I told you to call me Jongdae." 

The scientist merely hums, removing his gloves from his hands. "Only when you start calling me Yixing." he gives him a playful look. 

Jongdae chuckles a bit then, turning his attention to what the other man was working on, realizing that with a wrinkle of his nose that it was a piece of Kaiju flesh, now looking at the rest of the scientist he realizes that some of the normal lab coat was coated in some blood from the small piece of flesh he was working with.

Although small could be relative. 

"Is that?" 

"From the Infringer? Yes." 

The winged Kaiju popped with startling quality into his mind, before he was able to shake it off. 

"Did you find anything?" 

With a frustrated sigh, Yixing shakes his head, disposing of his gloves into a red bin marked with a Kaiju head on the front, if nothing would scream hazardous material he didn't know what would. "No... sadly, anything more I could've learned was already decomposing by the time it was brought here." 

Jongdae releases a sigh as well. 

Yixing claps a hand on his shoulders. "How are you? I've been told that you've been spending quite a lot of time here the past week or so." 

"Oh?" Jongdae feels a slight heat come to his cheek. "I thought I'd come and see what happens up here, I have a lot of time on my hands now that the Paragon has been put on rest until further notice." 

Yixing nods in understanding, not needing anymore information as to why that was, he had been there when Jongdae slipped off during their fight, and had actually been the one to notice his slight cognitive change. "I see... how are the others?" 

"They're... well as can be. Baekhyun is mad that their leg got taken out, plus Chanyeol has a concussion so they're down and out for a little while too... I honestly think he's about to start climbing the walls." 

Yixing smiles. "Ranger Byun is quite the card... but rest assured the Wyvern will be back on its feet in no time." 

Jongdae smiles. "I have no doubt about that... even if it is through sheer stubbornness from those two." 

Yixing chuckles. "Indeed, and Korea is in great hands with the Onyx and the Catamount... I'm happy to see that it's working out." 

Hearing that did warm his heart, almost two months in and it was like Yifan, Luhan, and Tao had always been a part of their base, they had also fallen into their friend group quite easily which was also a relief. 

"Me too... it's like they've always been here, they're becoming popular with the public too." 

Yixing nods again, taking a sip of some coffee that he picked up from another part of the room, now shedding the dirty lab coat. "Come sit with me... I'm taking a break." The scientist gestures to him to follow as they work their way out of the lab area, and into something of a small break room, not quite like an office and not quite like the main cafeteria that everyone dined out in. 

It was definitely the least industrial looking area of this whole base, it seemed to be more for some type of comfort rather than totally practical. 

"How's Minseok?" 

The question catches him off guard as he sinks into the seat across from the other man, he blinks. "What?"

Yixing takes another sip of his drink, brown eyes regarding him over the rim of his mug. "Your co-pilot, how is he?" 

"Ah... well..." He knows that it doesn't sound all that convincing, coming out of his mouth as he hadn't seen each other in almost a week and a half. 

How in the hell was he supposed to admit he'd been sleeping in the clinic and not their shared bunk.

Although some part of his bond did tell him the words did tell him it was true, at least physically, Minseok was fine. 

Emotionally was a whole different matter however, and Jongdae at the moment wasn't too willing to take that deep dive, knowing Minseok would somehow feel him probing even if he wasn't sure that was even possible. 

"I see..." Yixing places his mug down. "You know everyone has been talking about you two... I don't mean to sound like a gossip." 

Jongdae sighs. "Not at all... it's noticeable after all isn't it... glaringly so."

Yixing gives a slight apologetic grimace. "I have a feeling that played a part in you sort of falling down the rabbit hole, correct?" 

Jongdae nods. "Yeah... Min's never been prone to chasing the rabbit." 

Yixing hums thoughtfully. "Another reason that you two work properly... and I'm sure you're tired of hearing this. But none of what happened was your fault." 

Jongdae shifts his gaze towards the table then, taking in the scratches and markings from other people sitting there, either taking work with them, or containers scraping against the surface. "I was supposed to be objective, not emotional." 

"Jongdae, your mind is melded with another, and again, still a science that we're still learning about ourselves... You have to remember that you aren't only going through memories, or emotions that aren't your own. It's a lot for the brain to process, especially in the midst of that amount of stress."

Jongdae looks up and meets his eyes then, knowing he was right, he hadn't been alone, he had felt Minseok's fear as well as his own coursing through him. 

"No amount of training could have prepared you for the ever evolving situation you were in... especially when we know little to nothing about the Kaiju, so I can understand the frustration. I wish I could tell you why we weren't able to detect that it had an abnormality or wings... but we don't." Yixing gives him a small smile. 

"But... I hadn't done anything like that since I was a  _ cadet _ ." Jongdae shakes his head, just the thought makes him disgusted at himself. 

"You went through a trauma, Jongdae, that changes your brain... But yet, here you are. Against all odds piloting a Jaeger and you trusted a complete stranger to see into you, your most intimate thoughts, and secrets, and Minseok did the same. That's an incredible thing, you aren't the first or the last to chase the rabbit, the mind is a complex thing.” 

Jongdae mulls over his words. 

“Just be thankful you don’t have to go through it alone… would you rather pilot solo?” 

Jongdae subconsciously recoils at the thought, the habit from years of training having caused this reaction, if there was one thing that we were ultimately taught to avoid was solo piloting. Not because it couldn’t be done, but because it was extremely dangerous, pilots in the very early days of the Jaeger program had proved that much with their own bodies. 

“That's what I thought, so be thankful that you don’t  _ have  _ to bear it all alone.” Yixing takes a sip of his drink. "So, I'll ask you again... how's Minseok?" He gently prods. 

Jongdae slightly focuses out for the bondt that they share, although it's but a whisper of what it is while they're in the Paragon it’s something that he felt like he could tangibly feel. "He's physically okay… Feeling guilty." Jongdae frowns. 

"See, you aren't the only one... you don't pilot alone remember?" 

Jongdae laughs. "I've been stupid... I haven't even been sleeping in our room." 

Yixing drinks the last of what is in his cup and fixes him with a smile. "Tell everyone hi for me okay?" 

"Will do." Jongdae pushes himself from the chair. "Thank you." 

Yixing gives him another smile gesturing him towards the door, and Jongdae does just that heading down to the cafeteria that he had also been avoiding for the past week or so, immediately spotting his group of friends sitting together. 

Baekhyun fixes him with a stare, crossing his arms. “Well, welcome back… we thought that you had fallen somewhere and needed help getting out.” 

Jongdae smiles a little sheepishly. "Sorry... I was kind of stuck in my own head for a while." He looks up and meets the eyes of all of those at the table, all of them holding a greeting if not tinged with their own signs of tiredness and sadness. 

Yixing was right, he wasn't the only one that was affected by this. 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol had been there directly too, having done everything that they could possibly do while being just as helpless if not more because their Jaeger literally could not rise to the occasion. 

"I owe you all an apology... I didn't mean to push you all away. We're all going through the same thing and I've been selfish." Jongdae bites his lip a little. 

There's a slight huff and then a solid hand clapping his shoulder, he sees the hand belongs to Kyungsoo. "You, hyung, Park and Baek have been through a lot... thank you for your apology but I think I speak for everyone when I say that I understand that you needed space." 

"Right, Dae. We understand... but please, we're your friends too." Baekhyun reminds. 

Jongdae smiles nodding. "How are you?" 

"Antsy... I'm going to climb out of a window." the other man shakes his leg as if for emphasis. 

"It's true..." Tao remarks, the natural dark circles under his eyes a little darker these days as the Catamount along with other Jaegers trying to make up for the loss of three. "He's even been sparing with me, which I appreciate." He smiles, his Korean having gotten better hanging around the crew and all, sometimes Yixing having to act as the middleman for them with translations or clarifications. 

Chanyeol smiles a little bit from beside his co-pilot amongst other things. "Well be back on it in no time..." He kisses the side of Baekhyun's head. 

Baekhyun smiles at Chanyeol in response, holding the other's hand. "Yeah... I'll be patient. You need to get better first." 

Jongdae smiles looking at the pair, remembering what his friend had told him, and looking at them he could see the possibility of he and Minseok being like them or like Jongin and Kyungsoo. 

"If you're looking for Min-hyung, he's working out." Jongin mentions with a soft smile. 

Jongdae slightly jumps at that. "Thank you, Nini... I'll see you all later." He gives another smile as he leaves the cafeteria. 

Baekhyun gives him a supportive nod before he's out of the door. 

Walking through familiar hallways without really thinking about it, and sooner than later he's standing at the doors able to see that indeed Minseok was inside of the room alone, currently taking out some of his frustrations on the punching bag in front of him if anything Jongdae was feeling was any indication. Silently he pushes through the door, taking his shoes off before walking on the mats across the room, his socks thumping dully against the surface as he watches for a moment.

The way that the man effortlessly, at least seemingly to the eye, kept going at it despite the obvious amount of sweat that was on the man's arms and trickling down his face. Showing the signs of hard work for a lengthy amount of time. 

Jongdae walks forward then, around to the other side of the punching back to spot it, taking the opportunity between the punches to securely hold the bag, even if some of the force does make him grunt the tiniest bit. 

After a few more swift punches Minseok's eyes lock with his for a moment, and Jongdae has to knock aside the way that he actually wants to look down, with the wash of guilt he feels from his own side, and from Minseok. 

"I know... what am I doing here?" Jongdae steps back from the bag, as Minseok goes over to grab the bottle of water, taking his small towel neatly folded into his bag to wipe various pieces of skin.

Minseok eyes him, as he draws from his water bottle, for a moment he can't exactly decipher what the other man is thinking, as he finally sets down his water bottle, and begins unwrapping the athletic tape from his hands. 

Jongdae felt as if something else didn't happen then the room might actually implode by itself, his eyes finally leave Minseok's form and then survey the room that he's seen before, and it was nothing that his mind was actually monitoring.

He's drawn back into a forced focus when Minseok's form crosses the room beside him and stands in the middle of the mats, standing and waiting.

Jongdae eyes him again, not needing another cue as he begins removing the jacket that he was wearing, folding it up and sitting it on the bench next to Minseok's own gym bag before returning into the floor where he nearly misses the wooden staff being tossed to him, thanking the good reflexes that he had been able to hone. 

Looking over Minseok now, Jongdae didn't see any visible injuries which relieved him, as he hadn't done the usual after their fight, of making sure that Minseok had actually been okay. 

Minseok spins the staff, immediately taking a stance with the staff pointed at him, dark eyes hard as they were during a fight with a Kaiju, and not the usual playfulness that usually lies underneath the serious training of the spars. 

Jongdae holds back the shiver that runs down the back of his spine, and throws back a similar look, going into his own stance pointing the staff forwards as well, but Minseok is the first one to make the first strike, making it clear that he wasn't going to hold anything back. 

For a moment all they do is circle each other, with their staffs pointed deftly in each other's direction, however, like most of the times that they spared Minseok is the one to strike first. 

Perhaps in an even shorter amount of time than he usually would given the circumstances, Jongdae blocks the blow, the wood of the sticks clashing between each other but a resonant thud, that is until Jongdae gets a hit in on his side. 

"1-0." Jongdae reports, taking the staff back just a little bit but not completely relaxing out of his stance as Minseok once again attacks, their staffs coming together in a fury of maneuvers, twirling the thin piece of material through the air that until Jongdae lets out a slight hiss out at the sting against his skin.

One to one now. 

"You could've beat me two moves earlier." Jongdae remarks, rubbing slightly at his arm. 

Minseok merely makes a soft noise of acknowledgement and then he's giving him the time to reset, and they're off at it again, going for such a long amount of time that Jongdae certainly lost count about the time that they both ended up at a tie and that's where it stayed. It brought back the memories of their first assessment together that was just like this, feeling that connection, the very thing that made them drift compatible.

Jongdae isn't certain when either of them stopped, but suddenly he's hyper aware that they've crossed staffs, stances each mirror of each other as sweat lights up their skin, and the only thing between them is their breath as they lock eyes. 

Minseok's eyes are a bit softer now, tired, Jongdae could recognize that as it was what he was feeling amongst other things. 

"I'm sorry-" 

Jongdae stares back at an equally wide eyed Minseok as they realized that the words had come out at the exact same time. 

The pair let out laughs and Jongdae can honestly say that it was the most genuine one that had come from his mouth in a week as he felt a warmth warm through him, but then he clears his throat. 

"But seriously hyung, I'm sorry. About it all, what I said before the fight and what happened after, I didn't mean to push you away like that. It was selfish of me to forget about you and the others, that I wasn't the only one who had to deal with the repercussions of all of this." 

Minseok sighs a little bit too, drawing up straight and resting the wooden staff against the mats leaning the most of his weight against it, walking over to where his bag was, taking his water bottle and taking a healthy drink from it, Jongdae follows him and takes a seat on the empty space provided, waiting for the other man to say something as his faces finally straightened out and his thoughts came to complete fruition. 

"I apologize too... I didn't mean any of what I said to you. And it was inappropriate for me to say that the blame was solely on you. We're a team, and we make those decisions together, our fights are done together. As for you wanting to be alone, I understand, and felt the same way." Minseok takes a seat beside him, pressing their shoulders together. "But next time, maybe don't sleep out of our room... I'm here for you, remember that." 

Jongdae nods smiling. "Thank you, hyung." 

"But I will say that I did enjoy not hearing your snoring." 

Jongdae playfully glares. "I do not snore." 

Minseok's eyes sparkle again at him mischievously and Jongdae can't even find it to even playfully reprimand him, just happy that they hadn't completely fallen out with each other, and instead he decides to rest his head against Minseok's shoulder, pushing his hair away from his forehead, some of the sweaty strands from his forehead, taking the water bottle that he was being offered and taking a healthy swig from it as he enjoys the silence. 

Enjoying for the moment that everything was at peace and alright with the world, or at least between them again it was. 

It was then that he got the courage again. 

"Hey, Min..." 

"Hmm?" Minseok vocalizes softly, one of his hands gently messing with the top of Jongdae's hair. 

"You were right... that day, I did have something to tell you." He swallows a little thickly. 

Jongdae can feel the way that Minseok slightly tenses underneath him, the tiniest pause of his fingers running through his hair after a moment, though the movement was obviously slower. 

"I-" 

The rest of his confession was stopped in his throat, as well as the little bubble of silence that they'd built around each other as Baekhyun suddenly burst through the doors, panting from his run here. 

Both he and Minseok immediately stand from their spots, his body already gearing up for some terrible news or the fact that they might be needed in battle again. 

"They found them!" Baekhyun's eyes glimmer in happiness. "They found Myeon-hyung, and Sehunnie." 

***

Jongdae had never thought one of the happiest moments of his life would be in hospital, surrounded by such a sterile environment, that usually meant the worst especially in their case. 

But at the moment there was nowhere that he would actually want to be, looking at his friends although bandaged up and bruised, they were alive, breathing, and coherent. 

that was the most important part to Jongdae, it was as if someone had taken a weight off of his chest, and by looking at Minseok, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun he could tell that they all felt the same. 

Especially with the way that Chanyeol was tearing up, Junmyeon finally having gotten the other man to calm down for the second time since they'd arrived, Baekhyun standing beside the taller man with a hand on his lower back. 

"Glad to see that you all haven't gone to complete ruin without us." Sehun says, the slight pull of his lips going into a smirk, somehow managing the expression even with the painful looking cut on his lip that had required some stitches, though the worst of his injuries had come in the form of fractured ribs. 

Baekhyun snorts. "You wish kid, of course we didn't fall apart without you." although there was a gentle twinkle in his eye, looking at their youngest. 

Junmyeon smiles good naturedly, looking the roughest out of the pair, his broken arm wrapped up in a cast and in a sling made to keep his arm and his shoulder still, not to mention the colorful bruising that covered his face, making it look like he had gone face to face with another person and had been lucky to come out of it. 

Although they both had, the pair of them really had. 

"It's good to hear that you're all doing well." Junmyeon shifts underneath the covers of his bed, smiling at all of them. "I'm glad that those bastards are dead." His eyes harden a little at that. 

Chanyeol from where he had finally taken a seat with Baekhyun finished wiping his eyes. "But how did you do it? How do you all get out of the Jaeger, we all saw what was left of the Echo." 

Jongdae covers his mouth and takes a deep breath, that image coming to mind, of the torn apart machinery as if it were nothing more than a toy popping into his mindseye, from beside him he immediately feels Minseok's arm come around the back of his chair, his hand more firmly carressing his shoulder, Jongdae leans a little bit into the hold as he shifts into crossing his arms. 

Junmyeon grimaces a little bit. "I don't remember much after we started falling, I feel unconscious I believe, but Sehun was the one to get us out." 

All eyes turn to Sehun, and the other man fidgets a little bit uncharacteristically. 

Sehun’s eyes dart away from their gazes for a moment, recalling the incident. "Once we started falling, and hyung had fallen unconscious... I didn't know what to do. But we could hear all of your voices. But it seemed that you couldn't hear us..." He sighs. "I knew at the rate we were coming down that it wouldn't end well, so it was either eject and hope we don't die, or die in the Jaeger... I think I got lucky with the timing." He shakes his head. "All of it happened so fast, that the next thing I know I'm popping up out of my pod, but I couldn't see the Wyvern or Paragon in sight. And at the moment I couldn't see Myeon-hyung's pod either." 

Junmyeon looks at little at the younger man in sympathy, Sehun had been something of a prodigy, and it wasn't surprising to most that despite the situation they were in he was able to think clearly and objectively and try to get them out alive. 

"From the damage I heard we'd received, I was lucky that I hadn't been ripped out all together or the damage from that thing squeezing us hadn't rendered the escape pods useless." Junmyeon sighs, the next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital with them telling me that some locals had found us washed up on a beach." 

"That explains why they couldn't find your vitals or locate your escape pods..." Minseok says. 

"Well a Jaeger can be fixed." Yifan says. "Neither of you are replaceable... look at this way, the Echo will be all shiny and new the next time that you see her." The other man smiles in an attempt to lighten up the mood. 

And it works, everyone smiles or laughs. 

But then Junmyeon's gaze turns to Jongdae and Minseok. "I heard what happened... I need you both to know, especially you Jongdae that none of this was your fault." the older man fixes him with a kind yet stern gaze, and Sehun's eyes echoed the same sentiment. 

Jongdae takes a breath, feeling Minseok's hand squeeze his shoulder, but then he gives them both a small smile. "Yes, hyung." 

Junmyeon's eyes fully soften then, and Baekhyun shifts the mood then mentioning that Kyungsoo and Jongin had an interview later tonight, and that the other purpose of them coming by was to watch that together with them, talking about the fact that when Jongin and Kyungsoo were able to come and visit that Jongin, much like Chanyeol, was probably going to be in tears for a good part of the first time they were there. 

Junmyeon only smiled at that, and Sehun did the same. 

Jongdae found himself observing the interactions, the way that Tao and Baekhyun got into a slight argument over what they should watch while they waited for the interview to start, while Yifan and Junmyeon watched the other two shaking his head, to Chanyeol, Sehun, and Yixing in their own conversation and finally Minseok and Luhan talking softly beside him, although the whole time Minseok's hand never leaving his shoulder.

For a moment Jongdae could believe that they were just all normally twenty-somethings visiting their friends in the hospital, and the thought made him smile. 

"Hey, you alright?" 

Minseok's voice in his ear breaks him out of his observation to turn and meet his eyes. 

Jongdae nods. "Yeah... just happy." 

Minseok smiles at that in response, turning his attention back to Luhan after giving his shoulder one more gentle squeeze. 

For the moment everything was at peace and right in his world. 

***

_ "Beautiful, Paragon... you're doing wonderfully, just a few more minutes and then we'll be done here." _ The tech operator's voice echoes through the comms system in the large Jaeger. 

They had been going at it for what felt like forever, and Jongdae had been beginning to understand how Baekhyun was feeling after a couple of weeks of nothing to do but walk around the facility, he wasn't even able to go off base much incase they had to force their hand and actually use the Paragon despite Jongdae not having been totally cleared by the physicians to be put back in action.

But now that was finally over and he and Minseok had finally been able to be back inside of the Paragon even if it was just for systems checks, and the more than occasional check of their neural bridge, which from the past couple of checks seemed to have completely gone fine, which was good, it was better to feel whole again than whatever distant wish wash that it had been before. 

He hadn't felt anything like that since the first time he and Minseok had drifted and their bond was only an ember in a pile of ashes. 

_ "Okay, can you activate your canon for me and your Ion blade?" _

"Can do." Minseok says moving to activate the weapon at the same time Jongdae reached to do the same. 

One thing that Yifan had been right about is that the time down had allowed for their team to make necessary repairs and some upgrades to the Jaeger, their old blade replaced with a blue ion one like the twin pairs that had become synonymous with the Onyx Ace as well as their pilots.

_ "Can you give us a few movements with the weapons?"  _

They went ahead first, flashing around their arm with the newly implemented weapon. 

"That's a beautiful thing." Minseok remarks. 

Jongdae smiles in kind. 

"Now the canon." 

After a few more moments, and seemingly pleased with how smooth the movements were, the crew announced that all of their diagnostics looked good. 

"Ah, what about our neural bridge, how is that looking?" Jongdae nervously asks, feeling a slight heat come to his face, although he could feel himself that it was running smoothly there was a part of him that needed that other reassurance. 

_ "One-hundred percent and holding steady. You're both doing great... that concludes everything for now. You-"  _

The speech from the tech is interrupted by the war sirens going off, and in the moment the sound almost processed foreign into his ears, having not been anywhere near the war clock for the past couple of weeks he had forgotten what that sense of urgency could feel like almost until the adrenaline started kicking into his veins. 

_ "Well, it looks like you're getting back into action sooner than expected, Paragon." _ The commander's voice filters in through their comm system then.  _ "We're sending you ahead of the Catamount, there are three Kaiju, the Onyx Ace is preparing to be on standby."  _

The pair listen to this while hurriedly putting on their helmets, Jongdae's eyes briefly closing as the familiar yellow fluid fills the helmet thus securing their neural bridge. 

"We read you commander." Minseok says. 

And with those words he can feel the way that the other man has a bit of the excitement for a moment that he usually would, although it's tinged with a larger spot of anxiety. 

"Hey, we're going to be fine." Jongdae encourages, throwing a smile.

Minseok looks at him then, nodding and giving him a small smile.

And once again there was that feeling in his stomach, the incredible amount of courage that made him feel as if he could say the very thing that he needed to. 

"What is it, Dae?" Minseok raises an eyebrow at him. 

Jongdae shakes his head. 

Now was not the time. 

_ Afterwards _ , he promises himself. "I'll tell you after we get back." 

Minseok stares at him for a moment as they make their way out of the large garage, the floor clear for them to make their way out of the command center, out into the night air, the city alight with nightlife. 

However, even from this distance he could in fact see some of the Kaiju practically already in the city, just a stone's throw away from clobbering their way through buildings and people. 

"Shit." Minseok says.

Jongdae feels an eagerness as he has to wait for them to be lifted into the battle zone, or at least close enough to the Kaiju that they could run up onto the creature, and that moment comes soon when they're dropped into the water just a few feet away from the Kaiju lumbering forward, their splashy entrance enough to garner the attention of at least two of the creatures as the other one continues its path forwards into the city. 

"Fuck, tell the Catamount to move their asses... the third one has made its way into the city!" Jongdae shouts as they begin to run through the water. 

A nice bright spot light on the one creature that they engage with first, their fist clashing with the large beast. Jongdae tries not to be too pleased at the way their new blade slides out quickly giving them the opportunity to slash immediately at the other Kaiju coming for them, the wound slicing quite deeply with just the first cut, and that was enough to piss the creature off seeing as a tentacle comes out of the creatures mouth to grab at their arms the long slithering appendage wrapping tightly around their arm with force. 

Jongdae hisses in pain, as they see a type of warning come up on the screen about the integrity of the steel hull on their arm. 

Immediately they're firing shots at it through the various ballistic missiles, hitting the creature directly in the eyes, causing it to stagger back in letting go of their arm, luckily the hull hadn't been compromised to the point of being unable to use the other arm. 

They continue to punch at the creature, using its new blindness to their advantage until they can beat it back, sending the creature sprawling back into the water, but as soon as thats complete there's a weight on their back both of them nearly thrown over from the sudden addition to them, they waste no time reaching for the Kaiju scratching at their back and throwing the creature back first into the water, belly up. 

Their next movement has them stabbing the ion blade into the stomach of the beast, nearly missing the way its tail came up to strike them, but it did its job getting them to step back as it righted itself again and began trying to dominate them with sheer weight, banging against them until Jongdae could feel the rattle in his teeth. 

It's without question that they begin loading the cannon firing multiple shots into the belly of the creature until it falls limp, and then for good measure they used one blade to strike it in one of the brains, satisfied when the creature finally went totally limp, nearly decapitated. 

Looking back up they realize that the second Kaiju was coming towards them, already in mid leap, but then the creature is yanked back as if in some cartoon and they watch as it violently has one of its limbs ripped off. Revealing the Catamount fury disposing of the limb as if it were mere trash before continuing to go to town with a saw-like weapon effectively ending the strangled roars that were coming from the Kaiju, the Jaeger crew then disposed of the carcass further tossing those pieces away as well, the three arms of the Jaeger moving in unison. 

_ “I hope we moved our asses fast enough.” _ They hear Yifan’s voice remark. 

Minseok smiles. “You nearly missed all of the fun.” 

The pair of Jaegers move towards the shore then. 

_ “Are there stats on the last one?” _ Luhan’s voice reaches them. 

“Unfortunately no, it went on into the city without revealing anything.” Jongdae replies, feeling his heart thumping as they push themselves faster to get onto land. 

“How is the evacuation going?” Minseok asks. 

_ “It’s pretty much complete in the area you’re going into. We’re beginning to advise other cities to begin the process in case it goes any further.”  _

_ “It's not going to get there.”  _ Tao states, his voice not as carefree as he had been used to hearing it. 

Jongdae could agree with that statement as eventually they exited the water hitting the try land with a crunch, it was a ghost town on the streets, and for that he was mostly relieved despite the obvious destruction that had occurred in the city. 

Cars strewn, and some buildings crumbling where they had been crashed into. 

And Jongdae knew that it was only about to get worse with two Jaegers making this their combat zone. 

Jongdae was thinking that it was all too quiet in fact as they passed building by building, the build of the Jaegers reflected in the tall buildings. 

“I don’t like this.” Minseok says. 

“I agree.” Jongdae voices as they both survey the area, when suddenly they hear the stillness being broken by the sound of a building being broken through, the building being smashed into pieces like a child’s playset, the Catamount Fury and their pilots being thrown back into another set of buildings. 

Jongdae and Minseok charged together, firing missiles at the Kaiju, although its appearance was different than those that they had seen before, Jongdae could almost describe it as icy. 

"What the hell." Jongdae voices as they end up face to face with the larger beast, the missiles seemingly having no effect on the creature, only seeming as if it was a mild convenience. 

But that doesn't stop them from unloading onto the creature, Jongdae feeling the slightest bit satisfied when the creature was being pushed back by the violent assault, even if it was into more buildings, they lose their grounding where there is nowhere else to go and the Kaiju shakes off the pieces of building from its body, blue eyes glaring menacingly at them. 

"Something is different about this one." Minseok says. 

Jongdae merely nods as they deploy their ion blade, going to charge at the Kaiju once again while it was still lodged into the cavity that was made from its body being pushed back into the building, although that immediately falls into a storm of dust and everything else as he charges forward once again with a large roar, turning into a spin to meet their blade of which merely glances off of the creature as they too are thrown back into a bunch of buildings, the feeling of being weightless only lasting a moment before gravity once again reclaims them and the force of being thrown jars through them, sparks flying through conn pod. 

They push themselves up undeterred from the throw to see the Catamount Fury engaging once again, all three of their arms dealing with the creature, before they're finally able to get in a secure hold the whole body turning at the waist before it deposits the Jaeger with force into the initial ruins that they had run into when entering the city. 

"Catamount, we need to keep this thing pushed back as best we can." Minseok says as they power up their own weapons, firing more missiles to keep the Kaiju disoriented. 

_ "Agreed, but the bastard has a tough skin... it's like diamond." _ Yifan states. 

"We can worry more about that when we get it back towards the water." Jongdae says. "For now we just need to get there, it has to have a weak point." 

From there the pair of Jaeger's charge, hitting the beast back with punches that normally would've been enough to send any other Kaiju spiraling, but for this one it only seemed to move the creature an inch. 

The Catamount Fury pulls out its own blade, and as they said they can see the sparks from the metal grinding against the icy material of its skin, serving more as an agitator rather than causing any actual damage, from there they go to grabbing the creature by the horns protruding from its head, one of them coming off, sparkling and hard in their hands before they plunge it back into the creature, actually causing damage, but that seems to be the thing that sets two things off at once. 

The Catamount, first losing one of the three arms as the Kaiju retaliates by taking half of one of their arms off, the appendage sparking from the loss, and two being flung once again more violently through the city, being able to see the trailing dust and damage from where the body of the Jaeger had disappeared. Both of these actions are also accompanied by cursing and shouts of pain from all three of the Chinese men. 

Following that Jongdae and Minseok are also knocked back with the vicious swipe of a clawed paw, within their conn pod able to hear the terrible screeching sound of the metal tearing apart along with the sounds of their own alarms with in the Jaeger talking about the damage they'd just take as their tumble finally comes to a stop, and next they hear another roar that is accompanied with the flickering of the lights in the city, briefly going dark for a moment before they all flicker back to life.

But that doesn't unsettle Jongdae any less, when there's a distinct pop in his ear as if something had been turned off, they watch as the Kaiju stalks past them, going in the direction that the Catamount had been sent flying. 

From the looks of it with the intent of finishing the job. 

Minseok groans as they push themselves up, and Jongdae could agree with that sentiment, knowing that the whiplash was going to be imminent after they climbed out of the machine. "Catamount, come in!" Jongdae tries, but all he receives is that distressing pop, and eerie silence. "Yifan, Luhan, Tao... if you can hear me the Kaiju is coming your way!" 

They run through the ruins of a once sparkling city, and the amount of it that was still left in the distance could still be considered sparkling, reaching the large beast just as it was looming over the still body of the other Jaeger. 

There is no hesitation as they tackle it from the side, throwing the creature off balance and sending it skidding through glass and cement, it worried Jongdae with how still it was wondering what exactly was the condition of the three men inside, but he had no time to consider that before they're being charged at again met, meeting the force of the Kaiju with both of their hands as they tried pushing it back. 

The only signs of their success being the feeling of the cracking of the asphalt beneath them as they once again begin punching the creature back, aiming for the horn that the catamount had gotten into its flesh, causing it to rear back in pain.

Jongdae could feel the bout of fatigue that was crawling into his system, mixing with the adrenaline and sweat that he was unused to feeling. 

“We’re getting low on ammo, we’re going to have to get creative.” Minseok announces, their display indeed announcing that they were low on charges for their canon. 

Creative turns out to be the many metal crates that were nearby, slamming them into the creatures head from both sides drawing just a little blood. 

It was comforting to see that it wasn’t completely hardened like they had once thought. 

“Keep going for that weak point!” Minseok shouts, and Jongdae could hear his looming exhaustion as much as he could share it. 

And that they do, hitting the Kaiju with well timed punches and pushes to the wound, at one point using the it to back the creature into a crane, taking the thick cable wire that might as well have been a thin piece of floss compared to what they were finding, as they continued to use it to contain the creature, ignoring more so the slight sparks that were still being thrown around them, a red glow throughout the space. 

However, a sudden misstep, the sudden slip of their hand from where they were holding the wound has them all of them flying through the air, harder, and faster than Jongdae had ever encountered during one of these fights, in fact by the time he’s able to piece together what has happened, they’re crashing again. Eyes briefly locking with Minseok’s own surprised ones, and he imagines it being hit by several trains all at once, as his vision briefly blacks and his head throbs. 

It leaves him winded as he sits, up his head swimming a little bit, but nothing that might constitute to him that he might have a concussion, around them the conn pod was sparking, wires hanging down around them now, but nothing serious enough that the Jaeger wasn’t functioning, as he gains his bearings he notices that he feels distinctly heavier, like someone had put a weight on one side of his body and it was just ever so slightly pulling him that way. 

Standing is slow and as unsteady as he feels, finally gathering his mind back up to see that the Kaiju was still caught up in the tight metal binding that they had begun putting it in, but it was clear that this wasn’t going to last long. 

Jongdae slightly winces as another violent jolt goes through the jaeger, or maybe it was himself he really couldn’t tell, sweat rolling down his temple inside of the helmet. However even with the sparks going off around them, and the sound of other various alarms going off, inside of the piloting space, at the moment Jongdae is the only focused on the man next to him as he makes a realization.

And how heavy his left arm feels. 

“Min!” Jongdae calls, looking into the glass visor of the other man’s helmet, finding him unconscious, a small trickle of blood running down his face. 

_ “Paragon, come in! Status report!”  _

And any relief he would’ve felt about the comms coming back online was overshadowed by this discovery. 

“I read.” Jongdae shakes himself back to the present focusing on the fact that he still had a fight to continue instead. “Minseok has been knocked unconscious, I’m going to continue to engage… I have no idea on the status of the Catamount.” 

_ “We’re checking on that now… hang in there.”  _

Jongdae forces himself into some semblance of walking forward, and although Minseok was still attached to the machines, he knew that his co-pilot was not conscious he could feel it through their bond, even as he tried reaching out to him there was no answer, or change in his condition. 

Jongdae begins trudging forward, each step feeling like he was pulling himself through mud, but he instead wouldn’t focus on that, and instead he makes it over to the Kaiju stabbing the weak point that had been made with its own body part, before cutting the thick wire wrapped around its throat and beginning to drag it the rest of the way towards the water, making sure that the wire was still tight, maybe even tighter as he continued on his way. 

Jongdae turns his gaze to Minseok’s vitals, relief seeing them strong for the most part, he hits a panel getting ready to put his co-pilot into an escape pod. Though his finger does hesitate for just a moment, before he continues his action, pressing the button and watching as the mechanism starts to come down to eject Minseok out. 

Jongdae could worry about how pissed Minseok would be later. 

That is  _ if _ he made it out of this alive. 

“Minseok is unable to continue fighting, I’m sending him out in an escape pod now. We’ve taken hefty damage, I’m going to try and finish this off shore.” Jongdae begins to be able to feel that weight in his right hand again, and the way that his drift with Minseok is ended almost abruptly as the pod ejects from the large robot. “Some type of EMP discharge disabled our communications.” 

_ “Yeah, we saw that…” _ there’s an audible sigh from the otherside of the line.  _ “The Onyx is being sent out now, ETA ten minutes.”  _

Jongdae does another systems check, luckily they’re not in too bad of a way. “Are… are they?” He can’t finish the sentence swallowing thickly, trying to tune out the noise of the various blaring alarms about various things on the Paragon that were in need of some type of assistance. 

_ “No. we’re getting vitals… but it seems that the rest of their systems are down like you said, likely due to the EMP that the Kaiju used. But they’re unable to continue fighting.”  _

Jongdae is grateful for a moment that the Paragon was practically a walking nuclear bomb, with shielding to keep them from getting poisoned themselves. 

_ “Jongdae! Get out of there, you’re not going to be able to handle the strain!” _ Yixing’s voice replaces the former operator.  _ “Let someone else finish this! The longer you do this, the more damage you could cause to yourself!”  _ he pleads.  __

Jongdae tries not to lose what is in his stomach as he feels now the fully neural load being placed on him for the Paragon with the brief distraction of Yixing’s voice cutting through his concentration, for a moment his vision going blurry, before he shakes it off, gritting his teeth, and refocusing his mind, throwing the Kaiju unceremoniously, while still holding onto one end of the wire, feeling it trying to swipe at him. 

He could feel himself exhausting faster than he normally would, it felt like someone was stuffing something into his brain, and there was no room to escape. 

There’s the briefest thoughts of lessons that they got as cadets, why the system had been changed to a two pilot system, and Jongdae knew that solo piloting was the quickest way to get himself killed in this situation should he suffer a seizure, leave his brain irrevocably damaged after the fact, or both.

“There’s no time to wait, If I don’t try to stop this now, thousands die! Besides, I just have to hold on until my brain can’t take it anymore right?” He retorts, grimacing as yet another violent shake travels up the large machine, the beast outside thrashes in the tight grip that Jongdae had managed to keep. “So, if you have another idea let me know!” He takes the chance to punch the beast farther out yet. 

The other end of the line is silent, leaving him with the sounds of various alerts about the integrity of the Jaeger, various systems beginning to fail, or other problems that he couldn’t be bothered with at the moment, he checks what weapons are operational, although most of what he was going to try and use was going to take its toll, he could finish it all in one blow but it would take time to charge. “I’ll try to hold it off for as long as I can, if not defeat it. And tell Kyungsoo and Jongin they better bust their asses to get here.” 

Ignoring the giant warnings about his drift connection being severed, he turns his attention back to the glowing mawed beast in front of him, punching it away from him back into the water. Hitting the consoles in front of him, finding the weapon and clicking on it. A warning flashes in front of him, red and blaring, that he was low on ammo, Jongdae dismisses it, his head throbbing. 

_ “Plasma Cannon loading…” _ coming from a robotic voice into his ear. 

Jongdae pushes forward towards where he had sent the beast, the water almost feeling like it was made from molasses from the way that he is able to move, his gaze turned down towards the water, panting slightly as the darkness grows at the edge of his vision once again, he shakes his head to clear it. 

But he’s jolted back into attention when the Kaiju jumps from the water, Jongdae just barely able to catch the creature in grasp once again, his mawl snarling and snapping at him as he waits for the device, at one point he can start to feel the creature slipping, Jongdae uses his strength taking the creature down into the ocean, pinning it down with his foot and sticking the forming cannon into its mouth, tightening his hand on the wire to hold it in place once again. 

Finally getting the alert that it was fully charged. 

“Go to  _ hell _ .” Jongdae grits out looking into the bright boring eyes of the kaiju before he discharges the rest of his ammo from the weapon, a bright light leaving the area and below him the Kaiju screaming one last time as the weapon has now left an empty space where its head once was. 

At this Jongdae feels himself stagger back, at least he thinks it's backwards, as he’s barely able to process the sounds of voices in his ears, they turn into muddled sounds as he finally gives into the darkness around the edges of his vision. 

His last awareness is his body jerking and the sensation of falling. 

***

The next time Jongdae is fully aware, he thinks he’s actually died, eyes opening to bright white light filling his vision before it clears up to show a more familiar grey ceiling, the industrial lights shining into his eyes. With a small groan, he covers his eyes with his arm. 

As he soon finds out, it turns out that he was very much alive. 

Jongdae finally gets his barings up enough to sit up straight in the bed, his head thumping for a minute as he takes in the surroundings of the clinic. He was alive and back in his base, the thought had him relieved, and his stomach turning up in knots at the same time, urgency suddenly flooding through his veins.

_ Minseok.  _

“Oh, good you’re awake.” 

Jongdae turns his head towards the voice, seeing one of the nurses coming to him, and he opens his mouth to speak. But then realizes that his mouth and tongue feels cotton dry, like he had been eating nothing but sawdust. 

Before he can even alert her to his needs, he’s being handed a cup of water, drinking the whole cup in what seemed like moments. “M-Minseok?” He manages to rasp out, the name leaving his lips sounding as scratchy as his throat feels. 

The woman looks at him. “Your co-pilot? He’s fine… you saved his life.” She smiles, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “As well as the pilots of the Catamount.” 

At that Jongdae releases the tension from his body, shoulder slumping under her hand as he releases a breath once again. After this, the nurse goes on to explain that he had been out for a week and two days, and that he had given everyone quite the scare, and that one of the Jaeger pilots had rescued him from the damaged Paragon before he could actually drown in it, and that the Catamount had come out of their Jaeger mostly out of one piece, but that one of the pilots had suffered severe injury. 

And that all of the Kaiju had been successfully defeated, including the one he had taken down, codenamed Frostfang as he learned. 

From what she had said, it didn’t sound like any of it wasn’t fixable. 

After a slew of questions, and one last check up, she tells him that he is free to leave, and to come back if he feels at all strange in any way. There’s a part of him that didn’t want to leave the room, but the larger part of him needed to see for himself that all of his friends are actually okay.

That Minseok is actually okay. 

So he makes his way through the halls, getting stopped more than once to congratulate him on his kill of the Kaiju, pats on the back, small cheers, some of the stares and the whispers. Jongdae could tell that he was being looked at differently, and it wasn’t just because of the small bandages covering his body. 

It was no different entering the cafeteria, he was met with some congratulations and more looks, but he pretty much ignored them all in favor of reaching their table. He’s relieved when he can see familiar figures sitting there, laughing and talking, he doesn’t even realize that he’s stopped and stared until he hears his name being called, followed by a large engulfing hug that leaves him breathless. 

“Chanyeol…” He gasps out, patting the taller man’s back. “ _ Too tight! _ ” 

Chanyeol immediately obliges and loosens his grip but he doesn’t end his hug. 

Jongdae just pats his back, hugging him. “It's good to see you too.” He slightly chuckles.

Chanyeol eventually pulls back just enough to look him in the eyes, his large eyes bright with tears and happiness. Jongdae looks back over Chanyeol’s shoulder, Seeing his other friends standing just behind the other man, all of them with various expressions across their faces. 

Although he's more focused on the expression on Baekhyun's face who was now approaching him, it was something between being mad and concerned. Jongdae was sure that he was going to get punched and that it wouldn't be the last time during the day, so he tries not to flinch as instead of the punch he had been very much expecting it is a hug similar to that which Chanyeol gave him. The squeeze was more firm, and although it took a little but of his breath away it wasn't as suddenly suffocating. 

"Don't you  _ fucking  _ scare any of us like that again, Kim." Baekhyun says into his ear, giving him another tight squeeze. 

Jongdae releases a sigh, hugging his friend back, with the same amount of pressure. "I’ll try to avoid it in the future." He gives a smile, more of a slight twitch of the lips more than anything. 

Baekhyun pulled back, and the same kind of film that was covering Chanyeol's eyes was now covering him, but it was obvious that he was holding his tears back. "Good to see that you aren't a fucking vegetable or something." Baekhyun comments. 

Jongdae laughs then. " _ Ha! _ Please, I'm sure you would've enjoyed the peace and quiet... I hope you enjoyed this week." 

Baekhyun smiles then, sweeping him to the table with the rest of his friends, all of them giving him similar pats on the back and welcomes and scolding as they move towards their table. And perhaps worryingly or to his relief for the moment Minseok was nowhere in sight. 

"That was either the most awesome thing I've ever seen, or stupid. I can't decide which..." Yifan shakes his head. "You should've abandoned us." 

Jongdae shakes his head, looking at his plate, beginning to fill it a little although he wasn't all that particularly hungry. "Then call it stupid, because you know that I couldn't to that." 

“Call it  _ necessary _ , he did what any of us would.” Luhan remarks, his face as beat up as the rest of his team. 

Jongdae instantly feels a wave of slight sadness seeing his fellow ranger, remembering what the nurse had told him, Luhan had broken his back when the Kaiju threw them back that last time, paralyzing his legs, they weren’t sure yet if he would be up and walking ever again. 

“Hey.” Luhan’s sharp voice calls him out of his musings. “Don’t look like that… there’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent this, I’m just glad to be alive.” 

Jongdae nods, giving him a smile. 

“Besides, I’ll be up and walking in no time. Someone has to keep these two from getting killed.” He pats both Yifan and Tao’s hands equally. 

Yifan smiles softly at the touch, his usually hard expression melting. 

Tao holds Luhan’s hand. "It was as badass as it was stupid..." Tao remarks, changing the conversation. His face still bruised, yellowish around the edges as it was beginning to heal, but other than that they still looked as angry as they were supposed to in this type of situation. "You took down that whole Kaiju by yourself, without the mental load of the Jaeger totally taking you out from the moment you started trying to fight." 

Jongdae shrugs. "It must've been the adrenaline... Besides, it was already injured, It wasn’t my first Category three." 

All movement at the table pauses then. 

Kyungsoo sitting across from him looks at him with wide serious eyes. "Jongdae, the Frostfang was a category four." 

Jongdae freezes, mouth a little agape, that explains a lot of the whispers that he had gotten around here, that was the first category four that had ever been recorded. "I... See... that explains a lot." He tosses the food around on his plate, giggling his knee a little looking around. 

"Looking for Min-hyung?" Junmyeon asks, arm still in a sling against his chest, most of the injuries he'd received mostly faded, although next to him Sehun was filling his plate with food. 

"I don't know if you want to do that." Sehun remarks, looking up briefly from his task. 

"Everyone has mostly been steering clear of him this week..." Jongin says. 

Jongdae was expecting him to be pissed, but his absence now, perhaps spoke volumes. 

“Not to mention the mess he made when he found out you weren’t here.” Yifan says, eating some of his rice. 

“What?” Jongdae looks at the rest of the table, and then looking closer he notices the injuries on Kyungsoo’s lips, and a black eye on Sehun’s face. 

If he remembered correctly the pair hadn’t been out, the Echo Typhoon unable to engage in combat and the Onyx was on standby.

“Soo, did you and Hun get into a fight?” Jongdae tilts his head. 

Kyungsoo looks up from his plate, the healing split lip now more apparent, he knew that the other man wouldn’t have been able to get those unless the whole simple retrieval part that he hadn’t been aware of was wrong. “No, this was from Min-hyung… He wasn’t  _ pleased _ to find you weren’t there.” 

Sehun snorts. “Not pleased is an understatement… hyung went ballistic when we told him you were still out there. It took Soo-hyung and I to restrain him to keep him from hopping into the first Jaeger he saw.” He sips his drink. 

Jongin nods. “I don’t think he meant to hurt them… but it took Soo and I telling him we were going to get you to get him to at least stop struggling for the moment.” 

Kyungsoo clears his throat. “I promised him that Nini and I would bring you back.” Kyungsoo crosses his arms. “And with the look in Hyung’s eyes, I was not going to return empty handed either way.” 

“And he hasn’t said a word since then.” Sehun adds. “Not even when they brought you into the medical bay.” 

Jongdae’s stomach drops again at even trying to imagine his co-pilot being in that much distress, and it was all because of him. 

"Maybe if you play your injuries enough, he won't beat your ass too bad, Dae." Baekhyun remarks. "If anyone can get away with it's you." 

Jongdae didn't even know where to begin to apologize to the other man, and he knew that this wasn't going to be easy. 

"We’ll make sure to bury you with something nice." Sehun remarks. 

Junmyeon lightly bats the younger man's head with his good hand at that remark, getting a pout and groan in response. 

Jongdae falls into his thoughts, perhaps it would be better to go seek the other man out, after all, the longer that Minseok was to simmer with his emotions the larger the explosion seemed to be, he knew from his experience. He was just going to have to face him and there was no other way to handle it, perhaps he would start his search in the sparing room. Knowing that is a favorite place of his hyungs to work out his stress or feelings. 

Jongdae is brought back to the present by a sharp tap on his side, and he didn't need the silence of the table or the looks he was getting between him and just behind him to know Minseok was there, he could feel it. It even sounds like the whole cafeteria had gone silent upon the other man’s arrival. 

"Hyung!" Baekhyun greets, his smile filled with nervous tension. "We saved you a plate and everything." 

Jongdae doesn't have the courage to turn his head to look back at his co-pilot, nor does he look at his side when Minseok takes the familiar place at his side, the table is awkwardly silent for a few moments, a tense breath before someone talks. 

"Here, hyung... have some of this." Kyungsoo says, and Jongdae can see something being passed over from the very corners of his vision. 

Minseok takes it silently, and he can hear the bowl or whatever clinking and surprisingly he sees utensils placing a piece of meat on his plate, Jongdae's vision snaps up almost too quickly to look to the side, although Minseok wasn't even looking at him as he put the bowl back into its place. 

"T-thank you..." Jongdae utters, his gaze now locked onto the other man's profile, taking in the bandages on his face, and on his hands, the totally blank expression that he was serving, a seemingly cool mask of indifference. 

None of this was a good sign. 

Minseok merely nods. 

At this the table seems to go back into some sort of uneasy conversation, Chanyeol starting some conversation about another piloting pair that had made a kill earlier in the week, and other things that had happened during the week that he had been unconscious. Although Jongdae wasn't focused on that, whereas before he couldn't focus on Minseok before, he now felt all too painfully aware of the other man, and his cold shoulder. 

_ A last meal.  _ He thinks humorlessly as he bites the piece of meat that the man had placed there just minutes before, though he wasn't really tasting any of it, his stomach forming knots once again. 

Jongdae’s mind is lost barely hearing the white noise of the conversation at their table and eating without tasting, when he feels a hand grabbing his wrist and suddenly taking him away from the table. Jongdae only has enough time to register their table falling silent and enough awareness to keep himself from tripping over his chair as he’s pulled from the room. 

All eyes on them. 

Jongdae allows himself to be dragged through the corridors, the grip on his wrist was strong, but it didn’t hurt. And at the moment he couldn’t find the focus to care about all of the stares they got as Minseok led them through the familiar corridor, he could only count the moments until they were in their room, the familiar hiss of the door sealing shut behind him with a sort of finality. 

Minseok drops his wrist, solidifying that they are alone here. 

And in the moment Jongdae couldn’t bring himself to lift his eyes from the carpet of their room, a familiarity that should be comforting with how clean it was, the smell of Minseok’s favorite air freshener lingering in the air. 

Jongdae takes a breath, finally getting the courage to look up from the carpet and up to Minseok. “Min…” He trails off as his voice is stolen away once he locks eyes with the other man, gone was the cold, blank, stare he’d seen in those few moments. 

Now Minseok’s were alight with many emotions, hurt and anger being the forefront. “How  _ dare _ you.” 

Jongdae straightens himself a little bit but he doesn’t move from his spot from across the room. 

“How dare you do something so  _ foolishly _ stupid!” Minseok’s voice raises, and his face slightly twisted into a snarl. “Were you even fucking thinking, Jongdae?!” The man takes a step closer to him, now once again they’re in a shared space.

Jongdae finds himself lowering his gaze slightly again to the floor between them.

“Or were you just trying to be a damn hero?! For once in your life, couldn’t you have been damn selfish and saved yourself?!” 

They’re so close now that Jongdae can smell the familiar scent of Minseok’s body wash. 

Jongdae clenches his jaw, and then he looks up. “What would you have had me do then? Have both of us get Killed and the Catamount as well? Leave thousands to die on Busan’s shore?!” 

Minseok’s eyes search his, the fire inside still burning there. 

Jongdae meets his gaze as evenly, and watches again as the fire shifts to another emotion, sadness maybe, but he was still angry. Tears began to glitter over Minseok’s eyes like a protective yet fully transparent film. 

“Did you even think about  _ me _ ?” Minseok whispers now, his voice breaking with another emotion. “Did you even think about what would happen when I woke up  _ alone _ , what I would  _ think _ ?!” 

Jongdae winces remembering what he was told by Kyungsoo and Sehun. “I’m sorry… But I don’t regret it. If that’s what you want me to say… But I would do it all over again if it meant saving you!” 

Jongdae watches Minseok’s face as it looks like all of the air had been drawn out of him and some of that fire dies down in his eyes, but it was still ready to rekindle at any moment's notice, but it stop any of the words from coming out of his mouth any slower or hesitance. 

“I won’t regret saving the person I love, so you’re just going to have to deal with it!” Jongdae takes a moment to realize what had just slipped out of his mouth, eyes getting wide as he realizes that Minseok is doing the same both of their chests heaving. 

Minseok’s eyes bore into his and before Jongdae’s mine can conform to any type of response, he registers being pushed back into the door, and more importantly, the hot searing feeling of Minseok’s lips pressing against his urgently. 

It seemed to communicate everything that he had been feeling, the anger, sadness, the fear he felt.

The love. 

Jongdae sort of finds his balance again when they finally part for air out of necessity rather than wanting to, he can tell by the way Minseok’s arms were tightly wound around his waist that the other man was feeling the same way as well. 

_ Oh.  _

Jongdae realizes it then, much like a freight train coming to slap his vision clear. 

He was going to agree with Baekhyun, he couldn't believe that he couldn't-  _ didn't- _ see it. 

Much less feel it. 

Had he actually been that wrapped up in his own head that much?

His attention is brought back by Minseok gently moving a piece of hair from his eyes, reminding him in someplace in the back of his mind that he was due for a haircut, as it had become longer, slightly curling at the front. "You fucking idiot." Minseok whispers but there's no real heat behind the words, not any more as the other man reclaims his lips then, and they're back into that delicious fervor, that the next feeling he's other than Minseok is all around him is his back hitting a bed, more of Minseok's signature smell wafting up from the formerly picture perfect bed. 

They part again then, but Minseok doesn't pull away swiftly instead remains close enough to where their bodies heat was mingling through their clothes much like their breath, their foreheads pressed together.

Jongdae winds his fingers into the smooth locks, something which he had daydreamed of before, gently stroking his fingers through the dark strands as he lets out a small laugh meeting his eyes. "You're right... but I'm your idiot." he says fondly. 

And Jongdae doesn't believe he had seen anything greater than the way Minseok's eyes lit up at the phrase, obviously meaning more than other teasing had been done previously.

From then Minseok silently claims his lips again, the kiss the tiniest bit less rushed as if to communicate the very things that his mind was too overwhelmed to actually say, from there everything else is lost to them but each other, and exploring in ways Jongdae had only dreamed would be possible, and he wouldn't have it any other way as Minseok seemed intent on kissing and claiming every piece of skin that his eyes lied eyes on.

As if Jongdae were an oasis in the middle of the desert. 

"God, I love you..." the words come gasped in a slight moan from Jongdae as his body arches into Minseok's, their skin touching further. 

The words have Minseok stopping for a brief moment, though remaining just as close, his skin covered in a light sheen of sweat just like Jongdae from their activity, and then he pecks him sweetly. 

Minseok smiles at him, brown eyes alight with happiness, at hearing the words again. 

Jongdae blinks, a blush coming further to his already flushed skin, suddenly feeling shy with the way the other man looks at him. 

Minseok’s hand brushes the skin on his hip with his thumb, a soft touch, but it doesn’t fail to make Jongdae feel any less warm. 

Jongdae wraps his arms around Minseok’s neck and then buries his face into his neck, kissing the skin there. Minseok lifts Jongdae up fully then in his lap, leaving Jongdae gasping in surprise as well as whimpering from the sudden movement inside of him that leaves him a little. 

“That was mean…” Jongdae looks at Minseok, whining a little while trying to get used to the new position. 

Minseok kisses him in response, a soft sorry against his lips, but from there he just stares into Jongdae’s eyes, one hand cupping the side of his cheek, thumb brushing the high of his cheek bone, just taking in the long lashes and soft skin. 

“I love you too.” Minseok says then. 

And Jongdae smiles brightly, just before he envelops him in a kiss and they’re lost in each other again with a bond that Jongdae would dare say was deeper than the one that had formed during their time as pilots, or maybe that was part of it too. 

Although the next time he wakes he isn’t thinking too much about that, wrapped securely in Minseok’s arms, even in sleep being the protector that Jongdae knew him to be, but it felt as if he was holding him so he didn’t disappear. And Jongdae was more content to rest there watching the gentle rise and fall of Minseok’s chest, the peaceful expression across his face until Minseok’s eyes finally opened. 

“Morning, Ranger...” Jongdae greets him with a small smile. 

Minseok chuckles, taking in a deep breath, his arm lightly squeezing around Jongdae’s middle. “Morning. He drops a kiss to Jongdae’s forehead. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sleep this late.” Jongdae remarks. 

“Well… the bed is comfortable, why would I want to leave when you’re here?” 

Jongdae blushes, slightly slapping Minseok’s bare chest. “Hyung!” He whines. 

Minseok merely chuckles. “And by the way you stole my sweatshirt, I don’t think you do either.” 

Jongdae looks at the item of clothing in question that Minseok had lent him when all of his were dirty, having thrown it on sometime after they got cleaned up and went to sleep. “Well you can have it back, it doesn’t smell like you anymore. I’d like to change it out for a new one.” 

Minseok sighs playfully. “I think that can be arranged.” 

Jongdae hums then, just content with lying in silence as Minseok’s hands run his hands through his hair, almost lulling him back into drowsiness, although that is soon broken by the sounds of their stomachs growling in sync. 

Jongdae sighs then, pushing himself up, feeling Minseok’s arm slide to allow the movement although his hand was still resting on the skin at the small of his back, rubbing there gently with his hand. “But I guess we should eat.” 

Minseok nods, pushing himself up to an upright position. “Hmm.” 

They finally remove themselves from the bed, but not before Minseok steals one last good morning kiss, going through their morning routine, and Jongdae is surprised about how normal it feels, or maybe more so how much more everything feels so much more locked into place. 

“Here.” 

Jongdae turns in time to catch the sweatshirt that was tossed to him, Jongdae immediately taking the new one and placing it over his T-shirt, relishing in the smell. Before Minseok takes his hand and exits the room though to anyone who wasn’t looking all that closely it would seem that the pair are just walking side by side. 

Jongdae didn’t feel shy about it in any way as they greeted their colleagues, there was obvious curiosity in their eyes as they passed, especially since he was sure word had gotten around about the brief but quiet moment that they’d had.

They enter the cafeteria, with no surprise finding that their friends were already at the table, Chanyeol talking animatedly, Jongin although at the table resting his head against Kyungsoo’s shoulder as he consumed some of his drink. 

“Morning…” Minseok greets once they’re close enough with food in hand. 

All attention at the table turns to them, and it's almost eerily silent with the way the group was comprehensively studying them. 

“Morning!” Baekhyun chirps a smile on his face as his eyes dart between the two as they take their seats beside each other. 

“Why are you looking at us like that?” Jongdae's questions, aware of Minseok’s hand resting on his knee under the table, while the other hand was looking at the other pilot with an eyebrow raised the same question being asked with his eyes as well. 

“So, good to see you in one piece… we were sure Min-hyung was going to devour you.” Sehun remarks, once again helping Junmyeon beside him fix something on his plate, the older pilot thanking him with a smile. 

Jongdae laughs a little bit. “I was thinking the same as you…” Jongdae also takes a sip of his tea. 

“Oh… I’m sure he did  _ devour  _ you last night.” Baekhyun remarks. 

Jongdae chokes on his drink then coughs as the liquid enters his lungs instead of liquid, his ears immediately burning and turning red, he’s only able to speak after wiping his mouth and a few concerned pats on the back from Minsoek. 

“Baek!” Jongdae wheezes out, the flush still clearly there. 

Baekhyun leans forward in his chair. “So  _ something _ did happen, you’re wearing his sweatshirt again.” 

Jongdae is flustered to the point that he can’t even come up with an excuse this time only blushing more, and then he instantly turns confused when the rest of the table groans, and across from him Kyungsoo seemed to be smiling quite smugly. 

“Told you.” Kyungsoo merely remarks. 

“Who confessed first?” Jongin asks innocently, now more seemingly alert than when they had first walked in. 

The table falls silent again waiting for their answer eagerly. 

“Jongdae did…” Minseok says after a moment, sounding just as confused as Jongdae was. 

The table erupted yet again in a string of curses, and displeased noises. 

“Yixing is not going to let us hear the end of this.” Tao remarks, the man sitting back against his chair with a pout, Luhan beside him looking very displeased as well. 

Yifan just smiled, shaking his head. “Can’t win them all, Taozi.”

Jongin on the other hand looked elated, clapping his hands together Kyungsoo beside him smiling and giving the other man a high five. 

Kyungsoo turns to the rest of the table. “Time for the rest of you to pay up.” 

“I thought you didn’t care about this, Soo-hyung.” Sehun grumbles, pouting at the other man down the table. 

“You made a  _ bet _ ?” Jongdae says incredulously, looking at all of his friends. 

Minseok can only find it in himself to shake his head and smile, while throwing an arm around Jongdae’s shoulder, making him relax and since there was no use and being ‘discreet’ now he raises his hand to entwine their fingers. 

“How long has this been going on?” 

Junmyeon smiles, looking a little apologetic. “Almost since we first got here… but more so when it got to the point that it was inevitable that one of you would break… sorry, hyung.”

“The Catamount joined in literally the week after getting here.” Chanyeol explains. 

Jongdae feels a little embarrassed again, he really  _ had  _ been blind. 

Minseok shakes his head. “None taken.” He kisses Jongdae’s cheek, then causing the table to give exaggerated reactions to the new love birds. 

Jongdae could only laugh, locking eyes with Baekhyun who gave him a smile, and ‘I told you so’ look in his eyes as he winks at him. 

It was finally then that Jongdae knew that it was all going to be alright, war clock or not, he knew that whatever they would face next he and Minseok would do it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me on Twitter/Curiouscat: @justawriter68 
> 
> Term note: 
> 
> Chasing the Rabbit: The act of a pilot latching on to a memory during drifting/ piloting a Jaeger.


End file.
